Black Poetry : Loss of Control

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Randee, Mar 16, 2004.

  1. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Times changing
    unrealistic plans fading
    a family now creating
    tension in the air as
    goals are abandoned
    and we try solidifying
    without sacrificing
    our lives and splicing
    together two when one
    was hard enough to get done
    and there is no longer an option to run
    everyday pushing my nose to the grind
    and i have the presence of mind to be blind
    while he tries to decide how this will unwind
    irregardless, our lives are forever intertwined
    although tangled seems more appropriate
    when it comes to the confused mass we emit
    when both of us back off refusing to commit
    our child already a member of banana splits
    all before he takes his first breath
    and they tell me to stay calm and rest
    but these thoughts are my unwelcomed guests
    and I detest being this obsessed
    when you know. . .you didn’t ask for the blood test
    one third of all children are born to mothers unwed
    looking after children long after their fathers fled
    jumping from our warm sleigh beds
    after only a single dose of the daily doldrums of dread
    that we woman constantly have hung over our heads
    how is our son supposed to learn to be a man from a decoy
    how is it that you are still underemployed
    still playing with toys when we need the real mccoy
    you are such a mama’s boy
    here i go getting all annoyed
    when we should both be overjoyed.
    we are bringing into this world a little man
    so while i am choosing between pension plans
    and thinking of trading in my car for a minivan
    why is it your still figuring out how you fit into the game plan?
    We need you to step up and get ready to bat
    you keep picking and poking at all that
    we are and of course we’re gonna fall flat
    i understand what you’re saying, i just don’t buy that
    we knew eachother and where and what we have always been
    this is not something that can be baptized away like original sin
    my thick skin is quickly wearing thin
    it is me, your love, holding our child deep within.
    Standing in front of you I pledge you my spirit and soul
    whether we have a Jordan James or a Jordan Nicole
    so much of what i need is now not in my control
    i need you to take over and make the three of us whole. :bawling:
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    u know i was feeling it all the way down to the end
    what time to make a whole a family of bond
    time he ask to marry u ............tyte drop well expressed
     
  3. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That is really DEEP, I feel you. :spinstar:
     
  4. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    it has always been so hard for me to relinquish control to anyone and this whole experiencing is changing that. everything i am going through from my body changing, to not knowing when I am going throw up to not knowing how he is going to act, think, feel, etc., it is so hard to explain. . .but i am losing control and feel like in doing so i am beginning to lose myself. Like things are not emotional enough right now.

    Rich - you are right, it is time he steps up and asks me. its crazy, i am an amazing woman, he tells me so everyday. why can't he just make me his amazing woman. :driveby:
     
  5. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    put the faith where it belongs...
    and everything will work out for the best...
    heartfelt piece...
    one love
    khasm
     
  6. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow, Randee - this is deep, so heart felt and astoundingly well written. I am sendin you love as you go through this soul searching time.
     
  7. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thank you for all of your responses. i appreciate destee offering such an open place to vent. makes it easier to make it through all of this and keep a positive outlook in general. still wishing though that all of this would just work itself out.
     
  8. LovelyGoldenOne

    LovelyGoldenOne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i loved the depth of this poem...
     
  9. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So emotively posed, I'm hoping he will step up to that plate.
     
  10. PositiveMindset

    PositiveMindset Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sometimes we must wait 4 the Almighty's plans 2 be overstood, but eventually they are.

    Stay strong within yourself, sister.

    The clouds are blowing over.
     
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