Okay, since it is confession time. I have never wanted to be with a white man nor a light-skinned man. I have, however, wanted to be treated the way I see some white and other men treat their women--as in putting them on a pedestal, kill or die to defend them and their children, outward displays of respect (whether fake or not) for their women (as in not publicly criticizing their women (except for Eminem-types :spin: ) even though their women are far from perfect, etc., treating their women like "ladies" in public, talking about their women and children with pride in their voice and on their face, etc.), not abandoning their women and children, etc.
I don't think I've ever really heard a grown black man say out loud that he doesn't like a sistah with nappy hair, but I certainly heard my male cousins say it enough when I was a girl. What I, and other black women do notice and talk about among ourselves is the reaction of so many black men to the long, straight, or wavy hair of white or light women and to the light or white skin tone.
I strongly believe that if some black women who want to be natural knew EXACTLY which black men actually appreciate a natural woman, those women would do a lot to be around those men--that is if the men otherwise had something to offer. Black women get tired of perming, weaving, and even that expensive braiding--not to mention the time and money involved, but as long as the lighter longer-haired woman gets the attention she does from black males, this will continue.
I am natural because I like my natural hair but also because I just got tired of spending the money, time, and energy getting my hair done. At many hair salons, black women are held hostage by hairdressers because they know that once you get in there and your hair is loose and wild, you're not going to leave until you get your hair done. I got fed up with my hair dresser because EVERY time I went there, she would have me running errands for her like taking her sister to the train station, or running out to buy her lunch, or babysitting. On top of that, I'd still be there for about 5 hours and I still had to pay her and tip her! This was typical in all the shops in my area, so it wasn't like I could go anywhere else. Finally, I just stood in front of my mirror and learned how to do my own hair and now I get compliments on my nappy style just about every few days--from other black women and from white women and men.