Beauty - Hair Care - Fashion : Little Black Girls Are Ugly

Discussion in 'Beauty - Black Hair Care - Fashion' started by Destee, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Family,

    It seems that once a little Black girl comes out of the womb, one of the first things that takes place in her life ... is that she gets a perm or gets her hair pressed. Something has to be done to her hair, for her to be pretty. :(

    Little white girls, little asian girls ... all other little girls ... come out of the womb pretty.

    But not our little Black girls.

    We rush them to the hairdresser, or the kitchen sink, to make what God gave them something else.

    What does this do to a young girl's self-esteem ... her long-term view of herself?

    What are we saying to our babies, by rushing them off to pressing combs and relaxers, at such a young age?

    Are we perpetuating the weapons of mass destruction put on our people?

    What are we saying to our sons, regarding beauty?

    Are little Black girls ugly ... the way God made them?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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  2. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I hear you queen Destee.

    and I really dig what you said in chat. That our hair grows toward the sun. This is a token of our favor with the Most High. Our hair gives tribute to Ra.

    I remember when Alice Walker gave an interview concerning one of her books. In the photo she was sporting a huge Huey Newton. She said there was just no way she could write that book with straight hair.

    It's not JUST hair. If it's JUST hair then why not JUST leave it alone? Our ancestors did not reduce anything to JUST this or that. They understood the significance and spiritual impact of everything. But blindness leaves us free to do damage.
     
  3. c-note

    c-note Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister Destee, of course little black girls are gorgeous the way god created them - I happen to think black babies and children are cuter than all other race of children (yes, I am biased). You are right, we do an awful lot of damage to their self-esteem and psyche by perpetuating a european standard of beauty. However, I fear that even if we stopped relaxing and pressing our little girls hair, they would still get the message that straight, long hair is the preferred standard of beauty in this society. The all powerful media perpetuates this message at every turn.

    My daughter is 3 1/2 and she likes disney. When I look at disney movies where the lead character is a person not an animal, I come up with:

    The Little Mermaid - white female with long, red hair
    Cinderella - blonde, white female with long hair
    Mulan - Asian with long hair
    Pocahontas - Native American with long hair
    Beauty and the Beast - white female with long hair
    Sleeping Beauty - white female with straight, black hair

    Are there any animated movies that feature pretty black girls or women with natural hair?

    It's the same thing with the any series on disney featuring us (think Raven, SisterSister, The Proud family).

    I try to counteract what she sees by telling her she is beautiful and buying books that feature us with natural hair.
     
  4. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Yes Sister C-note, that is the challenge. Not to mention our own projecting this imagine on to each other everyday. You can stand to uniquely beautiful girls side by side, and our own will look at the one whose skin is lighter, hair longer and straighter, and say how beautiful she is. Leaving the darker child, whose hair is thinker, fuller, and not as straight, thinking she must not be beautiful.

    What I noticed also, is when the father is in the home, or active in their little girls lives, and reenforcing momma oppinions on how beautiful their daughters are, the more likely the child will except their own outer/inner beauty.
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I can't remember ever seeing any Black person on Disney. Glorifying Pocahontas who betrayed her people to aide the white men who later slaughtered them is a slap in the face of Native Americans so I don't see that as their acceptance of Native Americans ove Blacks.

    Maybe we have to abandon the media in mass. If they aren't going to support us why should we continue to support them? Maybe it's time to let them see that Black people are their lifeblood.
     
  6. Sanaiah25

    Sanaiah25 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think that when black girls are little their hair is not nearly as scrutinized. I've seen many people of all races stop a black mother to compliment her on a "pretty brown baby with curly hair". I've seen this last from infancy up to even 5 or 6 years old. Its not until the cute little curls grown out fully that certain people seem to label it as "kinky" or "wild". The afro on a ten year old girl is not nearly as accepted as the "cute little curls" of a preschooler.

    I think that's why some white women desire to father children with a black or hispanic man. They want their little girls to have cute little curls or waves, as long as they don't expand into anything "kinky" or "nappy" (an advantage most of us don't have).

    As black girls grow older they need to be affirmed by those closest to them, especially other women who could potentially influence how they view their hair. Black men also play a big role in this. If a little girl doesn't feel that her natural beauty can be appreciated by the males around her, how can she be confident that it will oneday attract the mate of her choice?
     
  7. c-note

    c-note Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Amen and hallelujah to that!!! Most people can readily see how important a male figure is in a boy's life, but the presence of a male figure in a girl's life is most often underestimated imho.
     
  8. Sefirot

    Sefirot Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've managed to realize a humble, yet plausible perspective:

    Again, america is where we learn to develop and to attempt to maintain "the advantage." The height, indeed the very pinnacle of this advantage, comes by way of financial superiority which has always been maintained and exemplified by-but not necessarily confined to-the rich white male. So, in contrast, the most vulnerable and disadvantaged Being-while still adhering to this “unconscious” paradigm-would prove to be the poor Black Woman. And we are so very unfortunately familiar with how many take advantage of sisters as such.

    So if you look at the root and time from which perms derived, you have women who try hard to decrease their level of vulnerability and perceived disadvantage by going to measures unheard of to look "at least" like every other person/so-called race instead of Being special and unique. That is, if being different means also being the most disadvantaged. In the past this played out as only the "po' lil Black gulls" being laughed at for staying nappy. Leaving only the more "well-to-do" and "cultured" of us to the dreaded hair-perm, regardless of whether or not such women actually had more money. All that mattered was appearance. This has since evolved into the hair-weave, hair-piece, hair-wig, and still now, the harmful hair perm. Each screaming at the top of their lungs “look at me, I’m just like you now”-“You” being anyone but “ME”.

    With so-called men this assimilation manifests itself as our only acknowledging our women if they resemble those of our oppressors. And even then it is often times with the same disrespect that they hold for their women/insignificant others. In either instance, the "Black" component loses its consciousness and mutates (over time) into a cast that both articulates our position in america and enables us to identify with one another’s shared psychologically oppressive american experience. Being a "Black" woman becomes the identifying stigma revealing a sisterhood of common understanding of what it means to be a "sister" trying hard but failing to fit into american society while being truly appreciated (again, at least appreciated as much as are all the other so-called races of women).

    Regardless, the obvious/physical is just a manifestation of our want and desire to be like others and to be so unlike who we are.
    I.e., our root issues stem from beneath the scalp.
     
  9. Sefirot

    Sefirot Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Not to mention the child was only 12. Yet another skewed message.
     
  10. ShemsiEnTehuti

    ShemsiEnTehuti Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ok, I have a confession that I think many, if not most, brothers can relate to, but are probably scared or ashamed to openly share...

    There was a time when almost any non-Black woman was more desirable to me than my own African sisters. This was because all I primarily knew were the processed hair (processed mind) unbeweavable sisters, and the unremitting self-hate of our hair by our women only made me have aversion to African women. This is because unconsciously the perm and hair weave strongly implies inferiority to other women (who just happen to have straight hair). It was confusing to me how our Black women were trying so hard to look like White women, but then got pissed at brothers for getting one. In fact, the attitudes of these Black women on the issue made me resent them for being so hypocritical.

    I have never been with a pure snowflake, but I used to chase after light-skinned, mixed, or Latin women. The last 2 straight-Black sisters I was with hated themselves so much, but at the same time expected me to love them so much. It dawned on me that you cannot expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself...thus deepening my resentment for unbeweavable sisters. Don't get me wrong, there is no woman more beautiful than the Black woman to me. However, at the time, when I saw sisters trying to be sexy like a White or non-Black woman, it intrinsically made me look at these same Black women as inferior to the women they are using as their standard of beauty.

    Just to be clear, if someone finds a natural affinity with someone of another race, then no one has the right to tell anyone they shouldn't be together. However, I think many people (both men and women) seek intimate partners of other ethnicities out of the psychological damage done to the African psyche. To be honest, probably the only thing that healed this damage was my immersion into Pan-Africanism and the study of African civlization before European enslavement. I still do not care for perms or weaves on my sisters, but there is no doubt that they are still the most beautiful women in the world. I have simply made a conscious decision that the sister I end up with most probably has to be natural (i.e. locks, afro, braids, twists, etc.). I'll tell you, the search for a sister like this is getting long and arduous, but it will be worth it in the end for me and my children.

    Hotep...
     
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