- Jun 8, 2004
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Destee said:Afroerotik ... Hello and Welcome ...
I so thoroughly enjoyed reading your story! Wow! That was great! Thanks for sharing!
I have been thinking a lot lately, of the self-esteem of little Black girls. Oh my gosh. Reading your words was like hearing my very own thoughts! My heart goes out to our little Black girls. How terrible it must be, to have your hair pressed, permed, weaved or something, as soon after birth as possible.
Exactly as you said, that what God gave you is not beautiful all by itself. That she must do something with it, fix it, make it right. That is so terrible. Yes, we, our parents, and their parents, are victims of this. If they truly knew the damage they were doing to us, they would never have done it. It was what they believed was right.
For those of us that now know better, we must do better.
Our BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BLACK GIRLS deserve it!
Great thread!
Destee
Madame Destee, I read with great interest, AfroErotik's post, as well, and I thought, "maybe I should not comment on it, because....", it leads me back to WHO is doing this perming and pressing to little Black Girls hair??? Who did it to my sisters, and tried to do it to my daughters???
Yeah, I know, sisters do it because that's the way brothers like it, straight and light... Uh, Huh, heard that before... But a coupla things, here... For one, sisters don't know what ALL brothers think, so it's wrong like two left feet to assume they know based on the poisoned minds of a few... Secondly, I know a very beautiful young Haitian sister who wears her hair natural, and one day during one of our daily conversations(which started because I told her how wonderful she looked wearing her AFRO), she confessed to me that it is other Black Women who give her the most grief about wearing her natural... I wasn't shocked by her confession, because I've got enough experience with listening to African women in my family and out, express their desires to have children with "GOOD HAIR", whatever that is...
Therefore, Afroerotik's post kinda strikes me as a subtle shot at African men, and our likes and dislikes, and how that impacts on African women... Hey, I'm no fool... I know that what the opposite sex thinks about us means a lot to us, so I wont deny that some sisters actually are dyeing their hair and straightening it based on their perceived understanding of what Black men want, but where does that all start??? Well, in my case, it started with my mother... She was the one subliminally steering me toward my someone who looked like Vanessa Williams instead of Lauryn Hill... When at 14 I came home with Lauryn Hill's sister, and kept on comin' home with Lauryn's sister's twin, my moms got the hint... 'oh, this'shere boy love dark meat", or something like that... And even THAT assumption was wrong!!!(smile!)
Again, I am not saying sisters are totally responsible for perpetuating this kind of mindset, but they play a HUGE role in doin so... I wont back up one inch off that assertion, because it is is my experience on some many fronts... I am sorry to have to say it, because I am advocating for more balance in our discussions at Destee's, more honesty, and less taking sides with our own gender against the other... But this article seems to be implying that the poisoned minds of African men are why sisters are lacking in self-esteem... Well, brothers are lacking in self-esteem moreso than sisters - in my opinion... Who's responsible for that, JUST US, I guess... Can you see the imbalance here, in what was an otherwise interesting story???
Peace!
Isaiah