Poetry Critiques : Life and Reality

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Sodwn2earth, Aug 2, 2005.

  1. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I like the way I started this, but after the first stanza, I just seem to lose my flow. I don't know... I need some giudance on this one. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.



    Everyday I live life
    every second, minute, hour and day
    At every moment I breathe life
    Reality that seems to never go away.
    At every turn I see life.
    People teetering on it’s very cusp.
    And in this air the taste of life.
    Reminding me continuously never to give up
    Yet I sit silently and I stare
    Afraid to go forward
    In a world that forces you to move.
    It’s been easy up until this point.
    Here is where my challenges grow.
    Now is when I must step up.
    ...I’ve never been so scared.

    In the face of life,
    In the midst of reality,
    On the threshold of moving forward.
    I have confronted my worst fear,
    The future and my failures on a collision course.
    I dread these upcoming decisions
    The images that plague my vision.
    For my fears I cannot hide.
    Success I fear my shortcomings will override.

    I must have strength.
    The courage to face my future,
    the unknown to become my closest friend.
    My fear at it’s greatest peak
    with the promise of tomorrow.
    Where I am most vulnerable
    To life’s most formidable obstacles.
    Only within myself, can I find the answers
    Only through experience can I learn.
    Only with time shall I grow.
    And only my life, it is I can control
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    the concept of life and reality
    the 2 and 3 stanza stood out far better then the first
    but it was overall a nice piece .
     
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