Black Relationships : Liar or Cheater - Which is Worse

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Sep 2, 2008.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I was talking to a friend and she was telling me she couldn't understand how another friend could put up with her husband who cheated on her continuously. I reminded her that she put up with her own husband who lied to her continuously. She informed me that she found a liar much easier to tolerate than a cheater.

    what sayest thou, fambly? Could you put up with a spouse who only lied to you about the things you wanted him/her to lie about.
     
  2. Zulile

    Zulile Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I assume you mean a cheater as in infidelity.. sexual nature.

    regardless, I think a cheater is a liar no matter how you look at it - and a liar is a cheater, robbing me of truth.

    I have a very low tolerance for both - equally.
     
  3. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with

    Sister Zulile, a cheater is a liar, and a liar cheats you from the truth; so they are one and the same.
     
  4. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    um

    :bingo:

    i see where the lady is taking this knowing he "only cheats" she knows that's all she has to worry about but to me that's all of worrying, and the liar is infinite

    either way i couldn't be bothered with either
     
  5. AAlicia25

    AAlicia25 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Cheating and lieing are two different things; If they were the same, there would not be two different words to descibe the acts. I prefer a cheater because then if he doesn't lie, he would tell me that he cheated and I could run away from him, change my number and move out of the state! The biggest insult is to insult my intelligence. Denying infidelity, when I plainly can sense that he did cheat, is a huge slap in the face. What happens if they lie to you, and you accept their words and build a family with them? The family would suffer because eventually that person would cheat again, you would be depressed, and because of your depression be an unsuitable parent for your children, and they will then be affected emotionally by your bad parenting and a broken home and would grow up to be all messed up and you the adult, wife/husband, parent would be miserable, have low self esteem, regret and hate in your heart. Trust me a cheater who does not lie about their actions is a whole lot better becuase with that information you have control and can make the descision if you want to deal with that nonsense or have a happier and a more fulfilling life with another person. I rather have a cheater and not be with someone who lies to me for years and when the truth is known, I become devastated becuase I was wrongfully denied TRUTHFUL information.
     
  6. brown_h0rnet

    brown_h0rnet Master of All Trades... Jack of None PREMIUM MEMBER

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    HUH?

    What? This convo is very "interesting" to me.

    Cheating and Lying is the same thing! If I'm married to someone, and we have an "open" relationship. Then if I have sex with someone else, It's not Cheating! If I am a Cheater.. then I must have given the indication that I was going to be faithful.. which clearly means that I have LIED!

    So how can somebody prefer a liar over a cheater???????
    :jawdrop: River.. you should tell your friend to go home and tell her to ask her husband, "Do you cheat on me?" And when he says no, HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S NOT LYING? After all HE IS A LIAR!

    And when she says, "He only lies about certain things"... The next question will be.. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? .. Maybe he wants you to think he only lies about certain things, after all... THAT'S WHAT LIARS DO!.. THEY LIE (which means to deceive)! This sounds like a case of the dreaded denial disease called,

    "I think that I'm intellectually superior to him and therefore I always know when he is lying"


    This dis-ease has been known to cause broken hearts, feelings, families and subsequently innocent brothas who come thereafter.

    Now on to what Alicia was saying. I don't see you prefering a cheater over a liar (though I see your point).

    If a person makes a mistake (flesh is weak... whateva) and feels bad about it, and comes back and tells you, that person is not a "cheater" A "cheater" is someone who does this in a premeditated fashion.

    Also, If a person is cheating on you, and then comes right back and tells you about it, then they aren't a cheater either. They just don't believe in being faithful! In that case you should run! But, if they are really "cheating", then they Won't tell you. After all, that is the whole purpose! That's why they call it "cheating"

    Cheating? Lying? It's all the same thang!
     
  7. AAlicia25

    AAlicia25 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I disagree with you.

    At this moment:

    - if a person cheats, they have cheated, therefore is a cheater. Just because they apologize does not erase the act.

    - if a person lies, they have lied, therefore is a liar. Just because they apologize does not erase the act.

    - if a person jogs, they have jogged, therefore is a jogger. Just because they stopped does not erase the act.

    - if a person murders, they have murdered, therefore is a murder. Just because they repent does not erase the act.

    The question is, “Would you prefer a liar or a cheater?” If I could make the choice in which act I would prefer my partner perform, (if those were my only options), it would be the act of a cheater. If a person is in a relationship with another and they cheat on their partner, it does not matter if they apologize they are still a cheater. Your definition of cheater and mine are completely different. The type of person you are describing is a sociopath, which is a person whose character consists, of both, but is not limited to, being a cheater and liar.

    According to www.dictionary.com

    Cheater: 1. a person that cheats

    Liar: a person who tells lies

    sociopath: a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.


    No where in the definition of a Cheater does it say someone who cheats but if they sorry that means they are no longer a cheater....
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i don't deal with people who cannot be honest with me.....
     
  9. Edward Williams

    Edward Williams Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It comes down to the definition of the word "liar" and the definition of the word "cheater".

    A liar is a cheater and a cheater is a liar. One uses speech (liar) and the other uses action (cheater) but with both or either the effect is deception.
     
  10. brown_h0rnet

    brown_h0rnet Master of All Trades... Jack of None PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Let me ask you this.

    Have you ever lied? IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE... ONCE? Because if so, by your definition, you are a LIAR.

    Have you ever done anything bad ever? IN YOUR LIFE... ONCE? Then you are a Bad person who does Bad Things?

    These definitions prove my point.

    A Cheater is a person who cheats! Not a person who has EVER cheated... even once.

    A Liar is a person who Tells LIES! Not a person who has ever told a lie.

    A Sociopath is a Liar or a Cheater who is Psycho to the point of not thinking that this anti-social behavior is wrong!

    You can't define a person by something they have done. You can't erase an act, but one act doesn't define a person. What I was saying in my previous post, was that everyone makes mistakes. There is a difference between someone who makes a mistake (which is all of us) and someone who does something premeditated. You can't define someone by one action, because if so, WE ALL would be Liars, cheaters, thieves, yuck-mouths, and basically anti-social people.

    This brings me to my original point. A cheater and a liar are one in the same, in that they are BOTH liars. Lying IS cheating, and cheating IS lying. I can't see preferring one over the other.
     
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