- Oct 25, 2005
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Let kids talk their way into better life
November 19, 2006
It's a staple of black comedy, the routine about the overindulgent white mother unable to control her children and the super-strict black mother with a too-tight rein on hers.
As little Johnny writhes and cusses on the grocery store floor, his white mom pleads with him in a calm voice to please, please behave.
Then, the joke goes, you've got the black mother. She snatches up Imani and Jamal before they even enter the store. Her lips barely moving, she mutters: Don't touch nothing, don't ask for nothing, don't say nothing.
These exaggerated tales of culturally distinct parenting styles are more than a stereotypical shtick.
Black parents, regardless of class, tend to issue more reprimands to their children than white parents, who tend to talk in more affirming and encouraging tones.
The scary part is that research also links a parent's communication style to the size of a child's vocabulary.
The child who is shushed more than he's encouraged to talk may well grow into a verbally illiterate young adult, ill-prepared for school and -- this is no hyperbole -- unprepared to be a productive member of society.
Most parents don't know, says University of Memphis education professor Kathy Cooter, that the number of words a child knows when she's 26 months old correlates to her academic success in -- get this -- the 10th grade.
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I believe its not the NUMBER of WORDS, but the TONE of words and DEGREE of ENCOURAGEMENT that makes ALL the DIFFERENCE. Also in SINGLE PARENT ENVIRONMENTS most of the TALK can be DOWN RIGHT DISGUSTING to a CHILD. In a TWO ADULT HOME with STABILITY like SINGLE MOTHER and GRANDMOTHER or MAN and WOMAN in MARRIAGE or in contact over CHILD WELFARE MAKES A IMPROVED DIFFERENCE.
What's that saying.
TWO MINDS are better than ONE.
But I talk FOOLISH THINGS anyway.