Black People : Letting Them Know It Is Not OK

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by river, Nov 17, 2009.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hey Fambly,

    Many whites today try to say that because African Americans use the N word that gives them permission to use it. This is poppycock and balderdash. Ask a white feminist since they fondly use the B word does that make it ok for a man to call them one?

    The other day I was talking to a neighbor. This guy is in a wheelchair and the subject of caregivers came up. Just out of no where he asks me do you know what my caregivers favorite word is? I said no. He said N please.WHAT DID YOU SAY? he said that's her favorite word she's a Black lady and she's always saying N please. I asked him who she says that to he says everybody. So I am standing there trying to wrap my brain around a Blacck woman say N pleease to a White guy. I can't do it. I told him I have to sleep on that because I don't use language like that. . He says I know how you are. I say how am I? He says you're all good. He was clearly looking for the back button to navigate his way out of any hard feelings I might have.

    Since they suddenly need our permission we have to make it clear that they do not have it. We can't let the language of one Black person who just doesn't care be used as justification for all Whtis at all times in front of anybody. You didn't hear me use it so just because you heard some other Black person use the word does not make it ok to use in my presence.

    Knowamsane?
     
  2. blkbutterfly41

    blkbutterfly41 Banned MEMBER

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    Wow, Where do you guys live at that you have such bodacious white folks ?? This is about the third thread I've read today describing inappropriate behavior from white folks.

    If we want change it starts with us. Shameful to hear any black person using that word. More less an white person asking our permission to use it. tell him, Hell, to the nawwwwwwwww.


     
  3. Ikoro

    Ikoro Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Actually, I have recently turned on my people.

    After many years trying to make youths understand why this word is not ok, I see that our adults are really the problem because they keep re-converting youngsters back to NIGG**S. Our young ones are suffering under the poppycock and balderdash of sex, racialization and capitalism - why must our own people throw them verbal feces like this?!

    When a white man says it, it's not ok. When we say it, (to some of us) it is ok. As an intellectual, self-respecting individual of Afrikan descent I cannot see the logic in this - as there is none.

    We can't expect whites to stop when we can't even stop. The job must start, and end, with us.

    For real. Ignorant Afrikan black folk aren't much better than crackuhs.

    On the other hand, we must learn to make those that do not understand the significance of the word stop using it. But whites will always have the upper hand when they can say "but you people use it", that's the joker card. We don't have a way of winning against that, some of them just want to argue with us for the sake of pissing on us.

    One,

    - Chimaobi
     
  4. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Welcome Blkbutterfly,

    That's true change does start within. Slavery is at the root of our problems but it is not at the root of our solutions.

    I live in a small Texas town. this guy was testing the waters and like I said started back peddling when he realized what he said was not acceptable.

    Yes, it is shameful when an African American uses the N word but there will always be those who disagree with that and want to use it anyway just out of habit and because it has become part and parcel of the way they talk. Whites will try to use the one Black person who uses it as a permit for them to use it. They try to use the freedom of speech ideology but they know you don't yell FIRE in a crowded theater and you don't say things that are offensive unless you are trying to offend.

    I realize too that it works both ways. We can't ask for more respect than we are willing to give. Because I am respectful of the Whites in my community they are respectful of me. I've lived here almost eight years and this is the first time anyone has tested me this way.
     
  5. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Hey Ikoro,


    I'm not sure what you mean when you say you have "turned on" your people.

    When I was a student at Cal State there was a group called S.Q.U.I.S.H.. Strong Queers United In Stopping Heterosexism. Maybe there are some White folks who are obtuse enough to think that just because gay people use the word queer that gives them permission to use it.

    It is common for oppressed groups to turn derogatory words into terms of endearment in order to inoculate these words and take the sting out of them when their oppressors call them that. For the oppressors to turn around and claim that this defense mechanism actually gives them permission to use the word is nothing more than backlash and retaliation. This separates Whites who are really good people from those who only pretend to be.
     
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