In my mind, I am still there, fresh out of school, campus life memories reflecting the best of times. Life has moved on, but I'm still there, Still at that newborn adult stage Awkwardly trying to fit in, Open to the unknown, excited at the promise of the future. But my vessel, my body has aged, my lessons of naivete learned. I pass my reflection, catch a glance, and am startled once again... Who is that frumpy looking old dude? Somebody's Dad, or Uncle? Still head nodding to Hip hop, though Sugar Hill broke out senior year at H.U. I should have college aged kids of my own, if I could just grow up myself.... but I fell behind, got left back, and find myself longing for the days of no mortgage, no aches and pains when playing weekend athelete, and energy that is as hard to get a rein in as a wild horse at a rodeo. I laugh when an "oldie" is reffered to as a New Edition hit, an oldie for me is Parliament, Stevie Wonder and Earth Wind and Fire in their prime. College aged students look like babies, as headstrong and stubborn as I was... As I still am... and I long for the smile of a sweet young lady, a harmless glance that gets held a second longer, a momentary flirtation, just enough attention to make me feel I am still among the living, the crowd that dictates what's cool, and what's hot or not.... Maybe then I can face my future, one that only slows down more as maturity sets in and mandates letting go of silly, immature diversions. I have to learn to laugh at the rye and the witty, not the silly and the gross, and realize that as those 20-something Jessica Alba/ Beyonce/Alicia Keys/Eve types look my way, there will only be a nanosecond of eye contact, and then they'll look right through me like I wasn't even there. A sadness encroaches, much like that one feels as Summer turns to Fall... As we accept all changes of seasons, I must accept that time must continue, and I must let go of youth.