Black Poetry : Let's go beyond

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by moham, Sep 14, 2004.

  1. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Let’s go beyond
    the invisible surface
    the fragile skin
    To find that what lies hidden
    Rooted deep within
    the fears restraining
    daily frustrations, the paining
    Dive through puddles
    running over with countless tears
    growing discontent augmented
    with the unconscious years
    for time is not conscious of your pain
    time is not a participator
    in this ruthless game.
    Let’s go together,
    Rise together
    I will not let go

    So let’s go far beyond the light
    a smothering darkness where
    our demons we “have” to fiercely fight
    taste the sweetness of a cleansing death
    wait for the right moment to then resurrect
    and then come back,
    back to the light
    back to the core
    strength and wisdom
    truth, love and freedom
    free from brick wall boundaries
    and self-imposed limits
    for only we hold the power
    to make “us” shine infinite.
    Demolish and destroy
    Until we find pure joy, together
    We must go
    I will not let go, of you.
    will cherish all of you
    make sure this does not perish.
    Cause I’m willing
    To go beyond the artificial
    find that what is essential
    A place where we can be free
    I know the soul called you
    you know the whole of me
     
  2. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow...Going beyond the superficial to what is real, within. This was awesome, I felt you digging deeper to the core as I read. Flow on poet.
     
  3. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    moham

    Expressing a commitment to another far beyond life. Committing to stay by your significant other's side as they go to hell and back just to be a better person. Now, that's deep. Hell, that's love...unconditional love.

    :thanks: for your thoughts.


    :toast:
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    a place i love to be at daily wish somebody take me their !
    very nicely done poet
     
  5. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    word....i'm definately feeling this piece...
    specially this line
    free from brick wall boundaries
    this was some hot ish.....
    one love
    khasm
     
  6. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    really found this wonderful...this "i will not let go of you"
    this total trusting love...this giving...beyond...beyond...
    very very nice...
     
  7. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hey hey
    thank you, thank you (blush, blush)!!!

    Watzinaname, thank you! I could've gone much deeper, but I have so much to learn when it comes to enhancing my writing and think about what i really want to express.
    But this is in reality how far I would go for the one I love.

    Thank you monetary!!

    Hey Rich, you know what I think "could" be more dangerous than temptation? 'Impatience'. So yeah all I can say: I definitely know how you feel, but we just have to be patienct and wait for the right one to come along.
    Thank you for the kind words!!

    Hey Khasm
    Thanks for your comment! I don't often do that. First I had artificial boundaries, but then I changed it to brick wall boundaries, that was better wasn't it. Thanks anyways, I'll try to use that form more often. Oooooh by the way, I went to look for Frank Herbert's book: the book of dune and I found it in the library. But I started with another one of his books, cause part one if this book was not available now.
    Let you now what I thought of it
     
  8. caramelpython

    caramelpython Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I loved this part! A true dedication and pledge of ones true self and feelings!
     
  9. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Soul Deep indeed...I love this poem!
     
  10. moham

    moham Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Deepy I didn't get achance to thank you yet....Thanks sweety!!

    Caramelpython, those words are important for every individual, cause every individual has his 'demons' to fight. And to have someone there waiting for you after the battle to support and catch you up...well, that would be a true blessing in my eyes.
    Thank you for feeling that part.

    Thanks for the love, CarrieMone!!

    greets
    moham
     
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