Poetry Critiques : Let me Know/Can I

Versatile

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Mar 20, 2005
162
4
Let me Know/ Can I

Come and rescue me
I am crying out to you my darling
The pain, the suffering of not hearing from you
Let me Know
If you are still breathing the same air that we breathe
Let me know
Are you okay, Are you still standing on solid ground
Let me Know
Where you are, Who your with
Are they treating you with the amount of respect you deserve
Yes sir, Good morning, Good afternoon, Good Night
Let me know
If your sleeping tight
Are there any nightmares provoking your mind
If so
Can I get you a warm cup of milk?
Can i fluff your pillow?
Can i ease the pain out of your sore working muscles?
Let me know
Can i Sing you sweet melodies until you float your way into the deepness of your sleep?
Let me Know
Can i Wake you up to breakfast in bed?
So that you can inhale the intoxicating scent of buttermilk pancakes
Covered lightly with syrup
Your scrambled eggs sprinled with just the right amount of salt
Your toast toasted to right hue of golden brown
Spread with the best jam or jelly
Let me Know
Can i greet you by the front door
Wearing my skin, covered with the color of your favorite lingerie
With a dab of your cologne behind my ears
Approaching you with a sway in my hips
So that you can flirt with my sexuality
Knowing what you have but cant get enough of
Because i wouldn`t wait for a Valentines Day to treat you like this
Your my man you deserve it
Let me Know
Can I masterbate your mind with conversation
Maybe about politics
Whats going on around the world
About me and you and how far we`ve gotten
Let me know If i can
Because its what i want.
 
CHALLENGE

Hey Versatile,

Here's your challenge: Using this one poem write two different poems.

Entitle one, LET ME KNOW, and the other, CAN I. Next, resubmit each one for your final critique. Based on what I've seen of your style, I believe that you can get two wonderful poems out of one and meet the challenge. Good Luck! :peace:
 

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