Black Poetry : Legacy of a strange love/Evol ?

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by shaz, Mar 12, 2002.

  1. shaz

    shaz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The pain of a prison so deep so dark so ugly
    I cannot explain, but it is always their
    A pain so deep just the thought of it forces me to tears

    Memories of your boot on my head
    Fist in my face
    And then
    You opened your mouth and crushed my spirit too

    Each time you beat me down worst than any playground bully ever could
    I forgave you as I placed my little arms around your neck to give you a tight squeeze and a big hug
    Hoping that if I squeezed you hard enough you would forgive me and love me back
    Each time you cursed my father as you slapped his face on my shoulders
    I forgave you UNCONDITIONALLY

    I have run for my life and escaped the rage of your touch, but not your reach
    A reach that engulfs my mind and spirit every waking moment in a wave of emotion that never breaks or goes ashore, filled with memories of hate and pain
    Questions of why me
    why do you hate me so much
    what did do to deserve this (it must somehow be my fault)

    I desperately need love
    And I have searched the beds of many in search of IT
    But still No LOVE

    I cannot give to others what was never given to me
    And so I will never trust it’s presence, even if given under the guise of “unconditionally”.

    Freedom is a relevant concept
    Relevant to the limitations of the mind
    And until I can forgive you and escape the memories of your hatred for me
    I cannot be Free
    Free to live in the present
    Free to imagine a future
    Free to be the Me who others claim to see

    WHAT Freedom?

    Letter to a mother who has stolen a Childs child hood and amidst their proclamations to the contrary you have chained their spirit and introduced them to the son of despair. (And the damage goes on)

    (By the grace of God this has not been my personal experience)
    My Momma whooped my A_ _ on occasion but it was never abusive like this, and the deference between my single parent (mother) experience and this one is the level of restraint that my mother exercised over her person.
     
  2. GQ

    GQ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Shaz,

    Deep...

    :peace:
    GQ
     
  3. Kitana

    Kitana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Shaz

    this is painfully deep...and the saddest part is that for too many little ones this is a personal experience...

    forgiveness is the key...forgive, move on, open the heart and let the pain and hurt out, and the love in...

    K
     
  4. shaz

    shaz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    GQ
    thanks for the read

    Kitana
    you are absolutely right but as you know sometimes that is easier said than done
     
  5. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    ****
    feeling this all too well

    you GOT to love YOU

    dssNy

    been there done that
     
  6. shaz

    shaz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the read So'ja
    would love to convey the sentiment but old girl just aint ready yet. as you know sometimes we just want to sit and wallow. when she is ready perhaps then she will listen.
     
  7. poeticdelight

    poeticdelight Member MEMBER

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    i felt the first few stanzas

    all the way up in here :heart;

    tyte flow

    pd :)
     
  8. shaz

    shaz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    poeticdelight
    thank you for the read
     
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