Poetry Critiques : Last Thoughts Of A Depressive

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Astrologer4U, Jan 25, 2009.

  1. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Just waking up, mouth tart, eyes full of crust...

    Oh god, I need to at least get up to wash my face, and brush my teeth.

    After washing up...

    It's only 11 am. I'm going back to bed. I can get back up at 12 noon, that should be okay.

    Five hours later...

    I guess I better at least get up to fix me something to eat, cause I can't really get no good sleep with all this
    stuff on my mind. I'll make some eggs, toast and a T-bone steak. I should just go on ahead and top breakfast
    off with a freshly blended, fruit smoothie. Maybe that will boost my energy. Oh, breakfast time was over a long time
    ago, so I guess this will be my late lunch.


    Finished eating all of the food and drank the smoothie...

    I haven't been out the house all week. I need to get out, maybe that will help me to feel better. Hmmm, it's already
    5 pm? That's to late for me to be trying to go and pick up a few things from the grocery store. By the time I drive to the
    store, pick up the items I want, pay for them, then get back into my car to come home, it will be dark outside. I don't
    want to be carrying grocery into the house after dark.


    Sitting down in recliner chair, looking around at the environment, house is in total disarray, shade covering on all windows are shut closed...

    Maybe I should go to the gym, it's open 24 hours. I could use a work out. I ain't been to the gym in over a month
    and they still billin' me.


    Get's up to pack gym attire...

    Where are my gym clothes? They not on my bedroom floor and they not on the bathroom floor where I think, I last saw them.
    I need to buy me some new gym clothes, that way I will always have a gym outfit ready when I get ready to go.


    Digging through dirty clothes laundry bag...

    Here go my gym clothes, they don't smell to good for me to ignore, so, I can't still wear them... I'm going to wash them really
    quick, the gym is open 24 hours, so I got time to wait for them to dry.


    Loads gym clothes into washer with no other items, sits back in recliner chair... Falls asleep... three hours later after a sleep full of tossing and turning..

    Although I just slept for... D*mn... three hours! The time is going by fast and I still feel tired as hell. Oh god please help me.

    Sits a while longer in recliner chair...

    The clothes are going to take at least 30 minutes to dry, by that time it's going to be 8:30 PM. The gym is open 24 hours
    but I don't need to be going no where with this house being as messed up as it is. I don't want to go to the gym just to have to
    come back to this mess.


    Goes to the kitchen to make a snack...

    I guess I'll just have something light, a glass of water and a peanut butter and bannana sandwich, sounds good.

    Finished snack... Getting ready to take shower, removes the pajamas that have been on since first waking up this morning... Shower is finished...

    Ah sh*t, I really need to wash all my things, I could have washed some of my other stuff when I washed my gym
    clothes.... Oh well, these pajamas I just took off ain't to bad, they will just have to do cause it's to cold in this house at night.


    Gets into bed... turns over into fetal position, closes eye's. Last thoughts...

    I'm gonna get up early tomorrow, straighten up a bit, go to the grocery store and pick up a few things, then go to the gym... At least I'm gonna try to.
     
  2. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Ha! You hit it right on the head!
    Captured the thoughts and actions of
    a depressed soul.

    I like it, related to it, understood it, and appreciated it!

    As a matter of fact, I loved it!

    :heart:
     
  3. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Been there

    seen it, done that... and you wrote about it so well! You're awesome Sister Astrologer
     
  4. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Those best laid plans, that are thought about, weighed, measured, but most just stay stuck there in your head, and then taken out again to ponder over, the next day. You described those day to day depressed ponderings to a "T" poetess.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    wow....each line express the depth of such which one pounder on daily time after time
    this piece speaks for it self and need no reverse or juster done well pose'd and expressed sis.
     
  6. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Who is the depressed character trying to kid huh?


    Astrologer4U
     
  7. free2b_me

    free2b_me Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :insane:I KNOW, I HAVE BEEN THERE AT TIME OR ANOTHER IN MY LIFE. DEPRESSION IS NO JOKE. SOMETIMES I STILL DO THAT WITHOUT LEAVING THE HOUSE AND I'M NOT EVEN DEPRESSED. OR AM I??? AHHHH A 4U, THAT WAS TOUCHING:kiss2:
     
  8. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Phynx, you are awesome too?:spinn:
     
  9. Astrologer4U

    Astrologer4U Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Please forgive me for my tardiness, thank you for you input.


    Astrologer4U
     
  10. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    wow

    good story i don't like to measure peoples pain of course because we all feel different things

    but...............

    dang you got food to eat and a gym membership, a place to sleep

    AND YOU GET TO WAKE UP AT ELEVEN A.M.

    you want to switch places?
    :?:



    P.S. i was depressed for years until i fixed it, it was an horrible experience
    so i don't want to give the impression that i'm undermining the situation
    here. i KNOW PERSONALLY WHAT DEPRESSION DOES,

    i'm so blessed because i was able to repair myself without the help of
    outside forces i.e. therapy and drugs and i sought to fix it internally
    with no clue on how to do it, but i wanted it so bad, the help came thru
    a divine source and i'm thankful

    peace to sista as always
     
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