Black Women : LADIES ONLY! Do you find it hard to be friends with other women?

[dunwiddat]

I don't have a problem making friends with women. I am a very friendly person so I make friends easily. What I have as a problem is getting too close to them at my workplace. I prefer women friends who are not my work colleagues, I prefer men as my work colleagues than women.

 

[Queenie]

I think the older you become, the better your relationships with women will become.

It's probably a youth thing, the inability for young Sisters to more easily realize / embrace the ally you all can be to each other. Which may kinda explain the "older women" phenomena, as they've already arrived at that place.

It only gets better, as you age ...

Love You!



Destee

Yeah, it gets better as women age but I think it's more due to estrogen levels than anything. Younger women are in their childbearing years so it might be a competition thing among women in that age range. Older women...finished bearing children, can sit back and relax so no need to compete for male attention. Estrogen levels decrease as women get older...it can bring on a sense of peace and tranquility...post-menopausal, that is. Women in the throws of menopause...well, we can only hope that all involved with them make it out alive! Been there, done that, ain't trying to go there again. So older women who are past their childbearing years can focus attention on being friends with other women as opposed to younger women who might look at each other as a threat to their territory.

Just an idea that's not based on research as opposed to personal experience...

Queenie

 

[Destee]

Yeah, it gets better as women age but I think it's more due to estrogen levels than anything. Younger women are in their childbearing years so it might be a competition thing among women in that age range. Older women...finished bearing children, can sit back and relax so no need to compete for male attention. Estrogen levels decrease as women get older...it can bring on a sense of peace and tranquility...post-menopausal, that is. Women in the throws of menopause...well, we can only hope that all involved with them make it out alive! Been there, done that, ain't trying to go there again. So older women who are past their childbearing years can focus attention on being friends with other women as opposed to younger women who might look at each other as a threat to their territory.

Just an idea that's not based on research as opposed to personal experience...

Queenie

You're so wise Queenie ... ... i just love you ...

It's amazing that i've never really considered the above, but it makes absolute perfect sense!

I think you're on the money! I've often given consideration to the natural desires / predispositions of men when it comes to their behavior surrounding mating, their youth, etc., but never thot about it regarding our young females. Hmmm ... interesting that i never have ... i don't know ... could be "not being able to see the forest for the trees" ... but i'm so with you ... it makes perfect sense!

Even thinking of the many elder Sisters i've been blessed to be recipient of their love, care, and concern ... the energies were different for them at that point ... and likewise ... now that i'm older ... i'm sure it plays a part in the way i interact with other young women ... though i don't have lots of memories of being in competition or controversy with other Sisters in my youth ... that could just be specific to me and my circumstances ... with the overall energy of life, continuing it, etc., more prevalent than i was aware of.

Yep Sister Queenie ... with or without research / studies / etc. ... it makes perfect sense.

You're the best!

i love you ...



Destee

 

[MsInterpret]

Hmmmm....I beg to differ on that...
I've seen how some older women act, and they can be just as catty with other women.
There's this social club where I live, and a lot of older people hang out there...And at night it turns into a dance club, but if I were to walk in there (which I think I'm going to tonight lol), the older women get really mean and they give mean glares and talk mad crap if you talk to one of the older men in there and he's buying you drinks and is flirting...

 

[cherryblossom]

LADIES,

Do you find yourself unable to be friends with other women, because of: cattiness, jealousy, gossip, etc.?

I hear other women say things like, "I find it easier to be friends with men then women." or "I don't have any lady friends cause they're all about drama."

No, I don't have a problem with female friends. --- The bond between Black women as friends can and should be a strong, loving and supportive network. ---- a balance of commonalities and differences that supplement and complement each other.

If I meet a Black woman who has jealousy/cattiness/hatin' qualities, eventually, I will "feed her with a long-handled spoon."

And I say, "eventually" because, at fist, I may try to lovingly help that Sister see herself. (Usually, such behavior is the product of insecurity/low self-esteem.)

But, after I've tried, then I aint got the mental time or energy to spend any more....I'd rather be with Black women who will encourage and uplift another, cry witcha, laugh witcha, and be ready to THROW DOWN witcha and catch a case if necessary. (lol)

That's the kinda friend I am and I expect that reciprocity.