Black Women : Ladies....How do you tell your friend?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by MsInterpret, Sep 29, 2011.

  1. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have a really good friend that I ADORE and she's overweight. My first concern is her health...Which I've invited her on walks and stuff, she says she'll go, but backs out and has excuse. I don't try and pressure her too much to go, but I eventually will ask her again later on. But I know what that problem is...so I just wanted to get that out the way, cause I know some over-analyzer will come in her saying, "Why are you worried about her clothes and not her weight."

    ANYWAYS , my next concern is her clothes....I usually am not too judgmental on what one wears, but the things she wears just doesn't fit her figure appropriately. I feel terrible when I hear people discussing what she wears to work. Her outfits are super tight, spandex pants, shirts that are waaay too small. When she bends over people talk about it constantly. Sometimes I have to catch myself to not stare either. She's a nice person, and she probably likes what she wears, she may have an impaired judgment on her physical self, or she doesn't like clothes made for full-sized women...who knows...All I know is I want to assist her a little. I don't want to change her as a person, but I would like to help her any way I can...but I don't know if I should say something or nothing at all...But if I do, what would I say that would sound tactful?

    Isn't that what us as women want? A girl friend who will let you know if you're wearing something wrong or doing something wrong, out of love?
     
  2. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah, we should be able to tell each other the real deal, but you got to be careful, everyone can't take it. If you guys are close and you been through a little bit together then tell her, just go ahead and break the ice, say you lookin' a little snug in that shirt today. If she is a good friend she will probably give you the blank stare and then ask what the hell are you talking about. Then proceed to show her where it is tight. That is what I would do with a good friend. She might get mad at first, but either she will tell you to mind your business or come around, because I guarantee you she knows that ish is tight too, she has just convinced herself it isn't. If you and her don't have that type of relationship, weigh the pros and cons of telling her, think about how she will react when you tell her, and if you are willing to deal with the aftershock of it all.
     
  3. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah most def...cause I would want my home-girl to let me know I was looking rough or too skanky.

    I'm just mad that no one else has told her this...And I just can't take it no more....I may just use the snug thing.
     
  4. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You made me think about the time one of my best friends was into this ruffle faze. Girl, she would wear a ruffle shirt with ruffles on the bottom of the pants with ruffle socks, mind you all of this was purple. One day I couldn't take it no more and said you ain't going nowhere with me lookin like a 1980's Prince. She got sooooo mad, and she wore it anyway and we left. Six years later she finally told me that I was right, and she couldn't believe she use to leave the house dressed like that LMAO!
     
  5. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    BWHAAAA!!! I read ruffles and that alone made me bust out...WOOOOW LMAO

    Yeah, no, that's not a good look.
     
  6. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Whenever we get the chance to get together or on the phone, we still give her the business about that to this day, LMAO!
    Anyway, be prepared for her to give you the stank eye and attitude, don't take it personal, you just crashed her whole matrix. She thinkin' she lookin' fly as hell, and here you come smacking the ball out of her hand. Give her a chance to recuperate cause you know her ego will be bruised. I know mines would.
     
  7. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I know, but I think it's better I say it....then some guy....But then again, maybe some guy does like it...*shudders*
     
  8. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You might be right, I know some men who only like the girls big with the spandex cheetah, they be working it. Also, when a man want to get in them draws....you know how that go. And before y'all supermen come busting up in here, I am not saying all men.
     
  9. butterfly#1

    butterfly#1 going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I think you should ask her if you can share some very personals things with her about her. Explain how the friendship is very important and you're asking because you don't want to lose it. Depending on her answer, if yes, ask her if she's sure! Then be as tactful as you can, proceed with the info. Its an unplesant and embarassing subject. Handle with love and kid gloves! Could you tell her you want her to help you pick out an outfit, while there encourage her to try on some pieces too? Maybe now that the weather is getting cooler, she can wear a coat or sweater to cover.
     
  10. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i was told by a wise person once what comes from the heart reaches the heart so my advice is to tell her from a place of love as if you would want to be told and i think she knows you well enough to know youre sincere. I think its also important to tell her you accept her either way and respect what makes her comfortable but you wanted to bring it to her attention :)
     
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