Black Women : LADIES ARE YOU CLOSE TO YOUR PARENTS?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by cursed heart, Jan 16, 2006.

  1. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was just wondering.
    I am not close to my father but I am to my mother.
    I don't want to be close to her the way I use to be for alot of reasons.
    Do you think this is wrong? We're suppose to honor them right?
     
  2. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    My father passed away, but when he was alive I was close to him. And I am still close with mom.

    I don't see anything wrong with being close with your parents. However, it is important to still have your own mind. For example, my mom has her own vision of how to get success in this society that doesn't match mine. I am more entreprenurial so I can't follow this vision, no matter how much she would like me to.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Cursed Heart ... Hello and Welcome ... :wave:

    I think i've read where you said you have a child.

    What if your child wrote the above, about you?

    Would you think anything wrong with it? Should they honor you?

    I think if you answer these same questions, in this context, it may help you in the above context.

    At least i hope it does.

    By the way, i am very close to my Mother. She passed away in 1995, and i'd give anything to speak to her again, to be close to her like days gone by. Don't overlook your blessings Sister, for you are not promised these things.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks karma and destee

    Destee I have been through alot with her.
    I am the oldest and I grew up with alot of verbal and physical abuse from her.
    We are close but she's manipulative and because she knows I'm crazy about her she uses it.
    I get to a point where I don't want to be over her house alot.
    I would never want my baby to think that way about me.
    My daugter is a different kind of child.
    If she doesn't agree with me she will tell me! I like that she can express herself to me respectfully and not be scared to do so.
    I feel like a 10yr old talking to my mother at times.
    When tries to make me see it her way or ask for favors and don't respond she gets irate and I can't tolerate it anymore.
     
  5. Ms_MochaB

    Ms_MochaB Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am REALLY close to both of my parents at the same time they know and respect that I am not a child. Do we argue? yes ... Do I get out of line sometimes, I sure do, but they are still momma and daddy. Honestly speaking I don't know what I would do without them. I am the epitomy of a daddy's gurl and the same with my momma. My children hae learned that same respect towards me and their father as well as my parents. It's a joy that we experience by just being in their presence. Were we always this close, NO do I respect them ... More than u know. Not only are they my parents but they are my pastors at my church so I look at them from an familial perspective as well as spiritual perspective and I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

    It has been stated that women look for ways of their fathers in the men they connect with, in my case I look for a STRONG man one who speaks his mind, but also respects your feelings. One who cares for his family even when times are hard. He'll do what he can to protect what he's got.
    It has also been stated that men look for the attributes of their mother in their women. My brothers have told me that their women have to be able to hold their own, able to carry themselves well and blend in with the best of them and most of all be able to put a meal together at a moments notice, like momma (keep in mind both of my brothers end up cooking because let them tell it nobody can cook like momma, not even me... lol)

    BUT I LOVE MY PARENTS AND I WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT THEM, I DON'T TELL THEM AS OFTEN AS I SHOULD BUT I LOVE THEM MORE THAN WORDS CAN TELL.
     
  6. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I love mine too:kiss1:
    I just think my mother still thinks I'm a little girl with no opinion.
    My father he is not affectionate toward me so I never know what he's thinking.He's just my daddy.
     
  7. maatmama

    maatmama Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I became closer to my parents when I became a parent. The relationship is still expanding and morphing, as they are having a difficult time respecting me as the parent of their grandchild, I am the youngest in the family so I am still looked at (and unfortunately referred to) as the "baby".
     
  8. Ms_MochaB

    Ms_MochaB Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Cursed, sit your mother down and talk to her .... do even better than that, take both of your parents out to lunch and talk to them. Let them know how u r feeling and what you ALL can do to build a better relationship between u. It's worth a try
     
  9. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks Mocha:kiss1:
    That would be intersting my mother and father two different people girl !
    That would be nice though:kiss1:
     
  10. Auroraflower

    Auroraflower Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i am close with my father......





    i miss him....
    verry much.....

    i miss us playing records ...talking,listening to good music ,cooking...
    and me watching him watching cowbow movies lol.

    he is so dry and sweet..
    and an everybody,s friend ...
    people feel comvertable with him..
    but you can not make jockes with him in a way of doing bad things or lie...






    i am starting to become more and closer...with my mom....
    wich was not before because she was always working and lives far for a while now

    they live far .....




    but we are close...



    sis anything is possible ...


    but you have to be open for it..
    love can bring people back together....


    actually love is the only thing that brings people together...







    yes....







    Loveauroraflower:heart:
     
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