Black Children : Krazelyrics

krazelyricks said:
Actually yes, I have. I told him around one this morning. He said he needs time to figure us out. He said he loves and wants to be with me but I need to figure out what I want. When I told him I wanted HIM, he told me he's not sure anymore though. After he told me this he got up to look for his friend so they could fight. I broke down crying and he held me for about a hour or so though on my porch rocking me gently. It's been a whole year. We've been TOGETHER for a whole year. I couldn't believe I blew it over something so stupid. Is a kiss cheating? Jevon is a sensitive man because he cried one time at the BEGINNING of the relationship when I told him I didn't want him anymore because I didn't want anything serious with him so I'm sure I broke his heart. I know if he does decide to take me back that it won't be the same as before. He won't trust me as much anymore. There might not be any trust at all. I don't know. I'm still confused. Today they got to fighting and his friend went to jail because he pulled a unregistered gun out on my boyfriend. This is getting too out of hand. After he went to jail my boyfriend came back over my house and I calmed him down. It's going to be more drama when his friend gets out because my boyfriend isn't a punk. Somebody is about to get hurt all over me. I'm trying to calm my boyfriend but he's not listening to me at all. I'm in the middle of something that could have been avoided. ****, I shouldn't have told him.

Part of me is telling myself to shut up and leave this alone and the other part is just analyzing the whole situation and this outcome. Truthfully, no one really really knows you, your boyfriend and his friend. I don't think anyone could have imagined this outcome or they wouldn't have said to tell him, if they truly thought it would come to this.

In a way, one almost feels a little guilty and responsible in trying to help u.

What gets me is that you said "Someone is going to get hurt all over u." I think instead of talking about whether your boyfriend is a punk or not and how your in the middle, you need to put yourself in the front and take responsibility for your part and try to help them come to a resolution without doing harm to each other. I can't stand to see people hurt each other over someone else. You are just as responsible as the friend and they are both still alive at this point so u need to not feel sorry for yourself and try to correct your mistake. Then you turn around and ask is kissing cheating?
(not responding)

I could be wrong for this post, and after this I'm staying out of anyone's personal life, but I hope you at least try to get out there and do something to correct it instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Take responsibility for your actions.

Peace and love sistah
 
I am sorry that this has happened, but I agree with Wisdom7 that there was no way we could know the outcome of this. And even if we had, who is to say it would not have come out anyway, which I think it would have. Makes me wonder what would have happened if the "best friend" would have told his side of the story first. Not a pleasant thought is it? So I still say it was better that it came from you. What if this friend would have approached you again, and what if your boyfriend would have caught him this time?

Keep trying to talk to your boyfriend. Remind him of his choices, remind him of his bright future. Remind him of how his choices can and will effect his future, and yours. There is still hope for both of you, if you are both careful about the choices that you make in response to this situation.

I care about you krazelyricks.
 
I told him that there was no reason for him to overreact like that. I've kept him by my side all this time. He's sleep on my bed now in my dorm. I'm not letting him go anywhere. I told him if its love he would stay and he has SO FAR. I told him that his friend wasn't his friend in the first place if he could do it like that. "they smile in your face, all the time wanna take your place, they backstabbers." I'm going to braid his hair so he can stay longer. He has a afro now so I guess I'll braid it in a design or something. So far it has been good since the fight. But when his friend get out, probably tomorrow, I'll be sure to keep him under me ever MORE.
 
All I say is that I hope everything turns out for the best, whatever that is supposed to be. I forget you're so young and sometimes u can't see the big picture or the repercussions until too late. U seem a little attached to drama as I was when I was young, but I didn't cheat on any boyfriend because thats a respect issue w/yourself. I'm not judging u at all, I just really hope u see your part in this. I care as well and I was upset w/you as if you were my own. Seeing your response reminded me again, u just have a lot more growing to do. Good luck to u and your man and his friend.
 
Hi Sister Foxi ... aka ... Krazelyricks ... i'm just reading all of this ... well, not all ... but some ... and i see you've made your decision to tell your boyfriend. That's fine, because it was your decision to make and i'm sure you did what you thought was best ... that's all any of us can do.

For future consideration though ... i don't think it's a good idea to tell everything to these young men! Gosh! You think they tell you everything?! A young lady should keep some things to herself (unless of course, perhaps, you are already married to him). It's a wisdom that you grow into though, and after dealing with my daughter these few "dating" years, i realize yall are gonna do whatcha wanna anyway! :)

But i encourage you to challenge yourself to keep something to yourself ... something, anything, something ... don't tell everything! :nono:

In regard to the story in general, i read that you felt that his friend was more to blame than you. It's a bad habit to start, to begin laying the blame on another, for your actions. No matter what, that young man could not have kissed you, if you did not allow it. That puts all the "blame" on you, if blame must be placed. Don't shirk from your contribution to a situation. Accept it. Say you let it happen, cause you did. A man will try to do things, and if he succeeds, it's because the female let him succeed. You have more power than you're giving yourself credit for.

You said the following ... "I never thought about it like that queen but I did push him away though after I realized just what I was doing and with who. After I opened my eyesand realized I was staring in his bestfriend's eyes and not his, I came back to reality and quickly pushed him away." ... this concerns me. This sounds as though you are not in control of your body and self. As though you lost consciousness for a moment, only to come to yourself and this man's tongue is down your throat?! Sister, you must remain much more focused than this, in these days and times. You cannot be losing touch with reality like this, and remain alive, safe, and well! This is something you want to avoid at all costs in the future.

Let your decisions be just that ... decisions. If you decide to kiss a boy, kiss him ... but don't make it be some out of body type approval given for the act to take place. It is your body, your lips, your kisses. If you want to give them, give them ... let these decisions be solid and sound. Maintain control of yourself at all times!

I Love You Sister! :love:

:heart:

Destee
 

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