Black Relationships : KICK ME IN MY TEETH, WILL YA...

Brother Isaiah, I can only speak for myself based on situations and circumstances I've experienced when I've been "hurt" by men. First, when it comes to men, I have a low threshhold for pain, and I'm extremely sensitive to how they treat me and what they do while with me.

I firmly believe in the "golden rule" so I take what men do--good or bad--very seriously. None of us are perfect so I expect that, sometimes, we may "hurt" each other, but I don't trip over the "small" stuff. As such, not everything a man does that might hurt me will have a lasting or damaging affect on me or us.

But there may be some types of pain that could have a lasting affect depending on the brevity of what was done. If what was done was a direct violation of my basic values or my beliefs--honesty, integrity, respect, etc., it might shake the very foundation of our relationship as a whole because I will feel violated. At that point, I can't sit here and promise that I won't have some issues as a result.

So the pain must run deep to my core in order for it to outweigh any of the so-called "good" that my man has ever done for me. Anything less, I can work with him.
 
People in general feel pain and tend to remember the feeling behind it deeply. Joy is something that seems like a fleeting dream or something that is not real. Why do people say "pinch me so I know I'm not dreaming"? The presence of pain makes a person accept reality.

I do not think it is unique to women as has already been stated, but I do believe that women are profoundly affected by our emotions. Because of that, we react to those who may have caused that pain negatively. I personally have had to grow not to hold grudges (well, at least not as many :)) because I remember people who have hurt me from childhood up until the other day. It is a sign of emotional maturity we all have to grow into, especially since we are not in an ideal society in America to develop in a natural and healthy way.

I think sisters can sometimes take our brothers compliments for granted, but that is something we have to work on. This mostly is not the fault of the brothers, but our own self-loathing that does not allow us to see the good within ourselves and have a nasty disposition towards the rest of the world.
 
Brother, it may just be natural for people, not just Black women, to remember pain because pain is a threat to well-being and even survival.

If a man hurts me in a minor way and I know that overall he's been really good to me, I can overlook that one time, depending on how he hurt me of course. We would have to talk about it because I would want to know WHY he did it. I would also want to make sure that he understands that he hurt me and must not continue to do it.
 
Just an Observation From Some Guy

Ladies, you do realize, that no matter how you have packaged your statements and responses to this thread. You ALL have essentially validated his premise.

What is it about the mirror that you dont like seeing?



* Sitting back on the couch, with drink in hand, waiting for the lynchings to continue *
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top