Black People : Keepin’ It Real RealMen, Yeah Right…

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by RealMenWearBlak, May 20, 2009.

  1. RealMenWearBlak

    RealMenWearBlak Member MEMBER

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    Keepin’ It Real RealMen, Yeah Right…

    Before you think I’m vain, let me explain. The comments below are not so much about any particular person or persons as they are about a “mindset”. Have you ever heard the expression "2 sides of the same coin"? If you have ever been a parent like myself then you know there can be as many sides as there are children in the house. For this observation though I’m going to narrow the sides down to 2 basic categories.


    Heads: The Negative
    We have the right to be who we want to be, to express ourselves in almost any manner be it in poem, song, art, or written word. That’s a given right? At least you would think so. What I have seen so far is that there are some who bring nothing more to the table than anger, animosity, resentment and a lot of self righteousness. To offer an opinion, statement or even commentary that they don’t understand or agree with causes them to react as if you talked about their mama. They have no ability to even contemplate any viewpoint other than their own. When faced with an opposing opinion, they attack, criticize, defame, attempt to demean or intimidate, conspire against, stoop to name calling and much like a dog react on instinct rather than choosing intelligent discourse. Some act like petulant children or school yard bullies, personalizing issues instead of looking at the big picture, and most of all being so vain, self centered and foolish as to believe that their “interpretation” of a given situation is the only one or worse yet, the only correct one. Maybe they have anger issues, maybe they come from a broken home, maybe they just don’t like big words, I don’t know. What I do know is that there is a time to fight or defend one’s self and a time to talk in order to gain a better understanding, a new perspective of the issue at hand. Those people seem to believe that if you can’t win the argument then at least win the fight. Small minds usually lead to small solutions. You can usually tell who those people are. They are the most athletic people here because they are always the first ones to jump to a conclusion. (Ok, I know that’s an old joke.) They are often the first ones to catch an attitude with anyone who disagrees with or questions them. They are often the ones who claim to have the most talent, greatest insight, most important opinions (yes I get the irony of that statement) or feel entitled because of their own overblown ego. They will beat you down if you let them. They will twist your words if you don’t own them. They will try to extinguish your light if you let them in. Is this news? No. Have you heard this before? Yes. Is this commentary laughable? I hope so. (Who doesn’t love a wonderful smile?) So why take the time to state the obvious for that group of people who probably won’t get it anyway? There are 3 reasons why. (1) Simply because I can. (2) Because on Destee.com I have the right to do so. (3) Because it pisses them off. (You know who you are!) You on the other hand also have the right to not read this. Amazing huh?

    Tails: The Positive
    Although what I am about to state is fairly obvious to anyone that has spent some time here I still think it is amazing enough to warrant repeating. Most of the people here that I have met with or spoken to want great things to happen for this site. Most people including myself do not want to see Destee.com fail. People here are reaching out to help others mentally, physically, financially, sharing resources, encouraging others and making contributions in whatever capacity they have available to them. So many people here feel a sense of ownership toward Destee.com that they would protect it with their virtual lives. While we may not always agree on which direction leads to the path of least resistance, we can all agree that Destee.com (despite the occasional negative aura) has the potential to be something unique. Although some bridges have been burned, enemies made, seeds of dissention sown and trust abused, I believe people gravitate to this place because of its implied promise. I come to this place because I love my folks, even the ones I don’t always like. We all come to this place for whatever reason “we” choose and that’s ok. The wonderful thing is that you don’t need to defend yourself, your opinions or your reasons to anyone else and neither do I. We all know that some people express themselves by posting poetry and regardless of whether or not you or I think the work itself is good or bad, it’s their right to post. We also have the right to criticize what we’ve read but that does not mean we have the right to personally criticize or attack the “person” who wrote the piece. This understanding should apply to all other situations, forums or venues as well. It seems however that too many people have forgotten that. Come on people, you and I go waaay back so be honest, you know that you’ve been to Karaoke night at Destee.com when someone’s song was so bad it made your toes curl. Tell the truth and shame the devil, sometimes that’s the fun of going to Karaoke but still, it’s their right to sing off key. Trust me when I tell you that I’ve known Destee since long before Destee.com and I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that when Destee sings birds drop dead out of the sky. People’s ears bleed like aunt flow came to visit. But it doesn’t matter. Everyone here has the right to express themselves, even Destee.

    Look, I know some of you are “obsessed” with Destee. If you could you would wash your face with Destee soap. You would probably eat Destee cereal if they made it. You may have issues but I’ll still defend your right to stick your face wherever you want or to eat whatever you like. Besides, if you’re anything like me you gives a d a m n what people think anyway.


    “If the shoe fits…”
    - Unknown

    “You gon’ pay what you owe”
    - The Boondocks

    P.S. = I tried to keep this short for those of you with A.D.D. (You still know who you are!)
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    lol ... you've not been around here long enough yet ...

    The truth of the matter is, folk would probably buy up some Destee Antacid, Destee HeartBurn Medicine, Destee EarPlugs, Destee WhiteOut (or blackout), Destee Mouth Plug, Destee Be Gone Air Freshener ... or sump'n like that ... but i aint hardly see'n none of the stuff you're talking about making even one sale! :)

    Another Great Article! Thanks! :toast:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. Alexandra

    Alexandra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hehehe..



    I see.



    Interesting.




    Ahhh... Interesting.



    So in your opinion, the popularity of this site, and specifically, the spirituality section which happens to be the most visited/popular, cannot be attributed to Metasaience, but an obsession with Destee, both the person and the site?

    Just asking.

    Alexandra
     
  4. LindaChavis

    LindaChavis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Real Men...

    ..you said a mouthful and what's sad, the person(s) who need to read and absorb what you said, will reject and pull ALL of the negative out of it they can. I agree with everything you said and more. I look forward to working with you to build this site as soon as I resolve some computer issues that the Bros are assisting me with. Three Bros in particular: Bro Clyde, Bro Hodee and Bro Info stepped up and assisted a sistah in her time of need by putting thier money where thier mouth is. I need to also mention Bro Tariq who also consulted with us to figure out the best way to move on my situation. THIS is one of the MANY things Destee is about and will continue to be about as we move forward. I love all ya'll, even those I may disagree with. That's what makes us unique. Thanks to all who support the sister who brought us all together and who I respect and met over 10? years ago Destee..whew time is passing ya'll. We have got to get this thing moving. Move past your personal issues as this thing is bigger than YOU. Black folks are dying at the hands of each other, the PO-PO, drugs, the economy(suicides are up)..etc. We dont have time to figure out what someone's motives are for being here. They will weed themselves out if they are not here for the POSITVE.
    Lets DO THIS !
    PEACE !!!!
     
  5. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well said, I agree ....we do have a lot of love to share, knowledge to share, wisdom to gain, a lot of "growing" to do, for once growth stops...so does everything else!! ....What we don't have a lot of, is ...TIME, for it waits for NO wo/man. We, are all we got, but...We was all we had in the beginning. It was no maddess then, no fighting, no real back stabbing, our babies wasn't dying on the streets, beating the life out of us, by the very ones that suspose to protect us. It raises a question, what We had/have ...Cannot be removed, or replaced!! It's important that We, start seeing our worth, while it's still worth seeing!!
    Great write up brother...great indeed, thanks for sharing MAAT!
     
  6. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    i agree with most of your points brother...and in a utopian society or an utopian cyberspace community everyone would be able to express themselves freely without fear of prosecution from "the other side of the coin"....unfortunately the world nor any cyberspace community meets these standards yet imho...that doesn't mean that we should not strive for this...i know each day i wake up i try to get past some of the mental constraints that continue to hold me back from being the best person i can...i think we all do this to a certain degree....

    but as this article relates to christianity....i think what got some people a little uncomfortable is that our ancestors had this religion forced upon us back in the motherland and it was used as an instrument to facilite slavery over here....most of the veterans on this site know this as fact like the back of their hands....the recent climate has been a strong dose of christianity...and some didn't like what they were being fed...i have long ago learned how to tune out religious overtures that i do not agree with as i spent most of my youth going to a baptist church...some found it harder than i did and paid the price for it....i'm as guilty as them in terms of losing my cool in a particular situation with the same member and i truly apologize for my outburst...

    this "drama" i believe was for the best...it eventually was going to happen...
    i just hope the strong willed men of destee did not scare the other member in question off...the only way we are going to be able to break the chains of our hindrance is by understanding one another so that we can move forward together....imho

    "You cried, 'Keeping it real!' but you should try keeping it right." - Posdnous

    one love
    khasm
     
  7. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Wonderful insights expressed here! :toast:








    P.S.
    You're a very gifted writer! You have a commanding style and voice.
     
  8. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa and the Truth!




    Linda Chavis,

    It was good to read this and think of the good old days when we were all striving for the same goal; hopefully, we will resume with forward thinking. As far as RealMenWearBlak, a great guy, on point and as sister cherryblossom has stated, a gifted writer. I too picked up on his talent and solicited him to contribute to our Destee.comNews, unfortunately, that didn't happen.

    What puzzles me is that someone will come in, say fantastic things, we all jump for joy, then the person removes themselves from this environment; meanwhile those of us that are sincere, willing to do the work, stay the course, suffer and permit, become castaways. Then some new person comes in and the same old song is played again. Perhaps I am wrong, but only time will tell...Peace In my sister friend, for real!

     
  9. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa and Truth!



    Just asking Precious Alexandra, but I wonder how MetaSaience would answer that question?


     
  10. blkbutterfly41

    blkbutterfly41 Banned MEMBER

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    Interesting and thanks for the insightful post. I'm fairly new to the family. **smile** So my comment is without bias but also without "Destee" experience. I assume by reading the first page. That their is more to your post that is presented.

    I have not witness much of what you are describing here. But remember that regardless what's shared, we have no control how someone percieves our words when sharing in dialogue.

    I actually love the site. I've never saw one sight that has such an parade of information, and many different avenues of interest.

    As for the positive and negative part of your post. IMHO, Let them be themselves. Respect in the manner of relaying our opinion should be required. But that's it. What one absorbs or rejects is up to them. Too much damage is done and not an equal manner of relief, information, and useful shared experences.

    The gem is not in what we share the same but in our differences.

    I enjoy browsing more then posting presently. Let the positive light shine more brightly. You may be surprised how many of those negative folks turn around. In short , we have to give each other room for improvement.

    Peace


     
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