Black People : Keep Friends Close, Enemies Closer ?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Feb 21, 2009.

?

Do you keep your enemies closer than your friends?

  1. yes

    15 vote(s)
    27.8%
  2. no

    39 vote(s)
    72.2%
  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,790
    Likes Received:
    8,984
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,684
    Peace and Blessings Family,

    I've heard this phrase before ... "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" ... but i don't agree with that.

    Do you? If so, why?

    Please help me understand why i'd want an enemy near me.

    I want my enemies as far away from me as possible.

    I'm so protective of my space and peace, i don't want anyone in it, that means me no good.

    I'm often amazed, even in this community, that people who clearly do not like me, come here.

    What is that about?

    I realize that this is a collective effort, and it's not all about me (liking me is not required for Membership), but ... with so many other places to visit on the net ... why do they come here? I don't want them here, but the collective Spirit in me, requires that i be nice, kind, tolerant, etc., to all Sisters and Brothers ... but why do they come here? When they could go anywhere.

    If i didn't like a person ... i'd not go around them. Period.

    Do they subscribe to the enemies closer thing? Just wanting me close to them? :eeek:

    Oh Gosh ... tell me Family ... what's up with the ... Friends Close, Enemies Closer thing?

    I currently subscribe to the Trick Daddy and Lil Jon positioning :

    If you aint no kin to me or friend to me, B don't pretend to be, (What!)

    Do you subscribe to that kind of thinking ... keeping your enemies close to you?

    Please vote in the poll above, and leave your comments below.

    Thanks in advaince.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,146
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,102
    I subscribe to this kind of thinking Sis. Not literally in the sense of having an enemy all up in my space, but rather knowing/considering what may be their next move.

    I suppose those who resent you may have some type of love/hate thing going on. They envy you, but love what you have and/or created.

    Some just waiting for the opportunity to belittle you or strike you down in front of those who love and care about you. Causing this enemy to feel some type of false superiority over you.

    You can never tell whats truly in the hearts and minds of a sworn enemy, nor the reasoning why they need to be up close and personal. But one thing about keeping them close in your thoughts is, you can almost always see them coming, and from what angle they'll plan their attack... leaving you to always be prepared and one step ahead.

    :heart:
     
  3. lilpea

    lilpea Moderator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Messages:
    1,118
    Likes Received:
    343
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired
    Location:
    (G.I.)- Better known as Gary,In.
    Ratings:
    +343
    Greetings Sister Destee

    There is another saying also..."the eyes are the windows to the soul"...for me that's reason enough. Another.."Time will Tell" and for some that is what is needed to see a person's true nature. This I learn form you my sister. All I can and will say Sister is..I can only make recommendations, the final decision is up to you. Make your's and lets move on. But peace must prevail in this community. I don't know of any other site that will give a person a 10th of a chance to be repeat offender...our problem is we feel we have to..and that is wrong. Again Make your decision and stick to it. Next time do it sooner..or you may just have to live with it. By not doing it sooner you may be showing a person and others you are enjoying their drama.

    Lilpea :1on1:
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,790
    Likes Received:
    8,984
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,684
    Sister Purple ... thanks for your response.

    I can understand trying to be a step ahead, when you do know you have an enemy and stuff ... but to keep them close to you ... closer than you'd keep a friend? That just doesn't sit well in my Spirit at all.

    I've never tried doing it, keeping an enemy closer than a friend, but it seems it would be very taxing. You'd have to always be watching what they are doing, always on guard, always looking over your shoulder, always leery of what they put before you ... it seems that it would require you (me) to be fake with them ... because i'd have to smile and act like everything is good, when i know they are my enemy. That sounds like some really krazee living. And if they are closer than your friend, one that you might invite over for a slumber party or something, you'd have to forever sleep with one eye open.

    That doesn't look anything like peace to me. I'd be krazee if i had to live like that.

    In my own life, away from the community, i don't have people around me that mean me harm. I have always lived a very sheltered / protected life. These kind of people are not in my inner circle. They do not get close to me. They aren't lounging in my living room. They aren't calling me on the phone. We don't talk.

    But here in the community, it's different. I don't have the same control over it, that i do in my personal life. The purpose and goal for the community, has almost required that i deal with people that do not like me. It's not new. It's been this way all the years, and i've just struggled through it ... hating it ... but doing it, because that is what was needed to get to where we are. It's been a great learning opportunity for me, to be able to overlook my personal desire and choice, for the greater collective good. I've put up with a lot here, that i would never tolerate in my own personal life.

    I've thought on this often over the years, reluctant prior to now, to really speak on it. I think i'm growing stronger (it's been years now, so it's about time), and am willing to let the chips fall where they may ... should my sharing this cause a problem.

    Sister Purple ... all throughout the years, i've wondered this. Every time i've had to deal with a Member that did not like me, i wondered why they were here. I have been left in awe, more times than i can count, at the number of people that do not like me, yet come here. I've even thought how great a blessing it is ... almost a 2-edged sword ... that we could have built a place so wonderful, that even people who hate me, want to come. That's some powerful stuff. It's beyond me, bigger than me, which is why it keeps me in awe. It's God ... it's gotta be.

    But i can't help but think on it ... wonder about it ... as it really leaves me puzzled.

    Yeah ... i guess being able to see them is good ... but i'd rather not see them at all.

    Okay Sister ... i'm gonna try to ease my self over to that kind of thinking ... since you say it's not necessarily a bad thing ... plus ... throughout all the years, it's never stopped ... so ... i guess i better start liking it ... :)

    I Love You! :grouphug:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,790
    Likes Received:
    8,984
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,684
    Brother LilPea ... thanks for responding.

    We do have peace here Brother, we always have, and always will.

    It's not the same kind of peace i have in the privacy of my home. It reflects many individuals, a collective, and so the peace is different ... but it is peace nonetheless. We may struggle to maintain it sometimes, but we've always had it. I'm too protective of it, to let things get to the point, that peace has left us. It's just too fragile, and too difficult to restore, to let it ever get away. I have sacrificed my own self, not doing what i really wanted to do, in an effort to keep our collective peace. I be krazee when our peace is threatened, almost immediately going into attack mode and everything. So much so, that folk say i'm doing too much, but i don't care ... cause i have the responsibility of insuring our collective peace ... and it will be done, by any means necessary.

    There is no decision that needs to be made. I'm not talking about any one situation. We have had many of these over the years, and i'm speaking about them all ... and even those that have never been brought to light ... yet are here, hating me, yet coming here. I believe i know what you might be referencing, but i'm not referencing that. There are more situations than you are probably aware of, that would qualify as enemy combatants.

    I'm just in awe of it all ... amazed that God would let me see such a thing.

    Where people hate you, but want to be around you.

    That is amazing to me.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. lilpea

    lilpea Moderator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Messages:
    1,118
    Likes Received:
    343
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired
    Location:
    (G.I.)- Better known as Gary,In.
    Ratings:
    +343
    I hear u sis. I guess I'm the same way.....I hate to use a white actors saying....But here goes..."Nip it in the bud Andy"!!!
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,790
    Likes Received:
    8,984
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,684
    Brother LilPea ... see ... while i always have that option, to nip it in the bud ... i have a greater responsibility here in the community ... one that requires us to work through our differences, to take the higher road, to be an example, to strive with each and every one, to go the full distance with every Sister and Brother. I can't just ban them, though sometimes i wanna, but i can't.

    I don't like always having this responsibility ... i wanna do what i wanna do sometimes ... and just stab them ... but i can't.

    I've got to go the distance.

    Okay ... i see why i gotta do what i gotta do ... but why do they do what they do?!

    Why do they come here, giving me this cup to drink from?

    Is it all a test? When we say we love our people, must we be made to prove it too?

    Dang.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. lilpea

    lilpea Moderator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Messages:
    1,118
    Likes Received:
    343
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired
    Location:
    (G.I.)- Better known as Gary,In.
    Ratings:
    +343
    Time will tell. I'm out.
     
  9. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,146
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,102
    ut uhn Sister! lol @ "i guess i better start liking it."

    No no no...See ya don't take that gesture so literally. Atleast i don't. What it means to me is, don't forget about your enemies thats out there. While you may have wonderful friends around you, you'll also have enemies planning to harm you. Sometime we find out to late that a person we thought was a friend was actually an enemy. Hence you have the gesture, keep your friends close and your enemy closer. Know who are your true friends from those disguised as friends.

    I like to think i'm a fairly good observer. I have people who i trust to be friends, but i also know sometimes friends change and can become enemies.

    I watch patterns...how they interact with others...what they say around others...the things they do and say they don't do. It's really not that complicated for me to do. As i enjoy watching people for the most part. It's no strain. Its just random thoughts the flow through the mind. We should always pay attention to those thoughts. Sometimes we'll find its our own insecurities surfacing. Sometimes we'll find its little redflags popping up to warn us of our enemies. Although for the most part, i trust my friends, but i never doubt that one may harvest some hidden agenda. You just never truly know, although we would like too.

    You don't necessarily have to have them close in your circle either. Just stay aware that they're out here and probably looking forward to working against you at every opportunity.

    As a friend, i don't have a problem if you ever wonder about me, because i know i would never try to intentionally bring you harm. But you can never fully know this about me. I would rather you be careful then be oblivious to an enemy. Even if you had to take that stance with me.

    but no Sister, you don't have to have an enemy in your home to keep them close. Its in your mind that you stay aware and forever watchful.

    :heart:
     
  10. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Messages:
    9,146
    Likes Received:
    1,097
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,102
    See, that's why i love you!:love:

    You're readiness to take one for the team. To give all a chance to work through their issues....if their intentions aren't those of harm. To see if we all can learn and grow with each other inspite of our differences. Thats no easy walk to take. Especially if you feel one is out to harm you/us.

    We can't always know why some do what they do. But atleast you can be sure "you" tried to understand and bring about the best.

    Peace of mind brings peace at heart. This way, when you do what you gotta do, there will be no regrets.

    :heart:
     
Loading...