Black People : just venting... a long story

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by MissPoetik, Mar 10, 2003.

  1. MissPoetik

    MissPoetik Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hmmm.... i don't know where to start with this one. well, first of all, i missed everyone here on destee. i know it's been a minute since i've posted here. but a lot of things have been going on.

    it all started when i wrote this short story, "in his shoes." i posted it a few months ago. some of ya'll might have read it. anyway, that story was about me and my man. the only difference is, when i wrote it, he wasn't in jail, he was working two jobs and i was happy for him because we all know how hard it is for a black man who has done some time to get one job, let alone two. so, i wrote this story just thinking of how the future would be between me and my man... a future that i didn't want to actually come true... and if you read the story you would know why.

    so... anyway, i had been with him for about four months and then all of a sudden, he stopped calling. and i've been there before... i have inveseted a lot of time and feelings into realtionships and then ended up getting dumped in the end. so, my first reaction is that he doesn't want to be with me. he lives in another city and everytime that i would call his phone, his brother would make up some kind of story for me but it all didn't make since. i just had a feeling that something was going on.

    i'm left confused because i was given absolutely no closure at all. i just felt empty inside. so a few months pass by and i'm trying to fill that void. just doing stupid **** that i know i shouldn't have been doing. last night, it just all hit me and i asked myself, "why are you doing this?" and i realized that i'm just unhappy... ever since i stopped talking to him, i have tried to push my feelings to the side. i guess i felt that if i acknowledged the fact that i loved him, i would just break down. but i should have known that love wouldn't let me just block him out. he crept into my mind all of the time. where was he? how did he feel?

    i decided to call his brother one more time. i told him to just be real with me, no ******** and i flat out asked him if his brother was in jail. i had a feeling that's what happened. and he said yes. the tears started flowing and i asked him why he didn't tell me this before. he said that my boyfriend didn't want anyone to know. he just gave his family the address last week. so i told him to tell his brother that i was trying to contact him. and i will be writing to him soon.

    i know this is a long story and if you have made it this far... thanks. anyway, i stopped writng my poetry and everything. when we were together, he was the inspiration for all of my poems. and i would find myself learning something new about love everyday just by being with him. so when we lost touch, i stopped writing... now, i guess, i just need some time to think about things... i love him and i miss him. and if still wants to be with me, i'll be right here waitng for him.
     
  2. MissPoetik

    MissPoetik Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wow...

    wow... nothing angers me more than a person who tells me about how i should feel... stupid? i've been through enough to learn about love and i don't fall easily. you can't tell me that i don't love someone. and he's not a loser.... he just got caught up. for the love of money, he was working two legit jobs, but like a lot of men i know, he was hustlin on the side. i admire him for his goals in life, the things that he wants to achieve. maybe you should think about someones feelings before you judge the situation. think about a time when you may have been in the same shoes. and if you never have, than maybe you don't have any right to speak on the situation.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    truely i feel ya emotions , I've been their , done that and i know
    how it turns yet i feel ya inner beings was of love but again
    in cases i say that one man don't stop a show u can continue ya write even more coz theirs so much to say big emotional feelins
    you also can move forward into a new life of love ya heart will mend forth GOD holy faith will comfort u and carry u

    time to look ahead to a better life for your self and not be stuck
    on what once was or could be .....life to short for that

    one whom so loveth of da pen is a writter
    one whom so love he not promised
    it's o'kay to love him as u do but if the matter not allowing u
    to be u then time to move on .....
    surely i feel u and i walked in the shoes and i been in the mist

    sweetie ya heart is sad yet can be filled wit joy
    look ova ya whole goals and reach for the north star
    it holds ya future ......................good luck and write if it's a love
    that made u wirte u can continue
     
  4. MissPoetik

    MissPoetik Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    okay...

    okay, i feel you when it comes to me writing. i just posted a new poem on here. so my flows are back again... but, i don't see why people think that i should stop caring for him because he's in jail. he needs me more now than he did before. it's sad that so many brothas get caught up in the system and everyone just lets them down emotionally. what's up with that? what diffence does it make? can a brotha on lockdown get love too? regardless, he'll be out soon and i can wait for him.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    yes indeed a man need to be loved
    even if he's on the brinks
    theirs nothing wrong wit that all i want u too
    know is that a poets heart is wide and in sorrow
    da flow become more stronger

    now u should allow ya mental da heart and soulful
    sweet self guide u and yet even as u feel heartbroken
    it will mend with or without
    happy to know he's headed home upon u
    GoodLuck and be happy

    do care for our brutha but remember don't let a brutha hold u down dis what $$RICH$$ be saying
     
  6. MissPoetik

    MissPoetik Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    rich
    yeah, i know... i'm getting back into the flow of things now. i don't know what happened though, it was like writer's block. i would start something and never finish it or throw it away. but i'm glad that i'm over that. i love to write and i will never let anything get in the way of that again.

    kemestry
    okay... i'm not mad at a brotha anymore. but [email protected]! why do you say that it's an accident waiting to happen? i just don't comprehend that. he's a good man and like i said, he was even working two jobs. people break laws everyday but it's just a matter of getting caught. being locked up does not make him a bad person. at least he has goals. there are things that i know he wants for his future. being the young lady that i am and judging from past relationships, i can spot a loser from a mile away... and he is not a loser. he's one of the strongest black men that i have ever met and that's why i admire him so much.
     
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