i should 've known when u went to the wedding , July 4th without me, that there would be suspicion lurking i should've known when your birthday fell, July 17th and u vanished on some "christian" retreat and came home not to anxious to see me, that something smelled like deceit i should've known when Vince crept in our bed u sent him up there to see what i would do but it was pitch black dark and i maintain my truth thought he, was u. i should've known when u'd be at the country clubs ur were really somewhere else u know i would not have approved of the sex wasn't good and now i know why but i still loved you despite all the lies i wanted so bad to see it work not another failed attempt to love put 6 feet in the dirt i wanted it like men want water in hell and i shed my own skin cause my loyalty is who i am but i should've known when leonard called too much that is was a set up he spoke words to keep in touch no thank you. what made u think i'd love them more than u that i'd sacrifice my hope and dreams and not make them come true? i cooked for you i licked your wounds and i swallowed you and my pride, and so much of what i ddn't like cause i thought u just had to learn how to love i accepted you fully never asked u to be something other than what time could allow you, to be, presently. but that was not enough and you criticized my heart and my love cast me out to the sea let raging waters carry me but its ok cause u will need those days when i caressed your head laying in my lap the days i cried out my soul, for you, a man who i thought i knew. and i a woman you were to stupid to know.