Black Relationships : Just don't wanna

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by sevens_love, Dec 9, 2004.

  1. sevens_love

    sevens_love Active Member MEMBER

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    I know this is common...for those who kind of relate may you offer some suggestion. Right now, I'm trying to determine why I want to continue to be involved. Maybe the long distance is getting to me but I've been able to stick it out for almost a year. Or maybe I'm still a little subconciously upset that he went MIA for a month to clear his head. Or maybe our relationship is just stale. I don't know. I do know that I love him and I know that I'm in love with him. But its like I'm searching for reasons to stick around...like forcing myself to stay with him. I'm suposed to see him in a week. Maybe we just need to regroup. The only advice, if you wanna call it that, is that I need to stop thinking so much and just let things happen.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Dear Mix Emotion
    the inner feelings of love for him and knowing you do love him deeply is what you carry
    but if you feel that you are forcing self to stay around , some where you pose doubt that
    this relationship looms danger , your thinking could it be because he is long distance and
    took time away to find himself ?
    why do you feel you searching self to hang on ?
    no you shouldn't stop thinking it's like letting down your guards , and what do he feel about
    you if you two to meet in a week do so and go from there it will lead you to the true facts to
    stay or let go , if it's love of heart you both hold then it's worth hanging on too
    Good Luck .
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you feel that you have to force it....it's not working. Is this a long distance relationship? If so, I don't advise anyone I know to have one. One of the two of you will stray. I think if a relationship is hitting a rough spot....you need to talk about it between the two of you. Be honest with yourslef and make sure you're not sticking around just to stick around.
     
  4. sevens_love

    sevens_love Active Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the responses. I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling. I think we just need to regroup. I'm thinking he kind of had the impression that after we started talking again that we would just pick up where we left off. Actually, I gave him that impression without letting him know that I don't trust him like I used to...that it's kind of like starting over. Right now, I'm just rumaging through our relationship trying to find the pieces and put them together.

    I know he has the impression that things are cool.

    Maybe I'm just starving for more of his time...the quality element of it. I don't know...our relationship is just boring right now.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Then also be as open with him , let him know it's not the same as before
    what you are seeking and want in the relationship and see if he ready to
    make that commitment !
    Trying to work it alone can be stressful when one feel one way and the other
    feel another way it's like pulling against the grain
    tell him trust will have to be built again and the reason why you feel you can't
    trust him now .....express your self and the answers will come much easy with
    more understanding ...Good Luck
     
  6. IntuitioninMD

    IntuitioninMD Banned MEMBER

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    Long distance relationships are difficult. I feel your pain.

    Are you married to this man???
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Long distance relationships require total trust & complete commitment from "both" people to work. My wife and I had a long distance relationship when we were dating (she was in NYC and I was in MD). We knew such a relationship would be difficult going into the relationship, but were determined to make it work. As a result, we saw each other almost every weekend and holiday. It required extreme effort on both of our parts, but we felt the relationship was worth it (it was). Nothing is a substitute for time spent together. Sevens_love If you and your don't spend enough time together, try to see each other more often. This is the only way to truly build a relationships. Distance can magnify even small problems....I wish you luck!
     
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