Black Relationships : just a question...

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by yaphet al-wynn, Apr 5, 2004.

  1. yaphet al-wynn

    yaphet al-wynn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My question is-If you are a female that is a single parent(you are more than free to flip genders-just want to know about the answers or replys in this vein) and you MARRY a man that will be a stepfather to your child and as far as you know they(your new husband and child) do get along generally well-will he be able or allowed to discipline your child? Reason that I asked this was that a young woman there said her new husband will not be allowed to disciplene the child, a quick 'what the...' ran through my head and maybe I am old school here-the guy that you marry is good enough to provide for both you and your child, feed and clothe your child-whether you live with him or he with you but in the end-he still is the significant bread winner, send your child to school, help with schoolwork and if the child desire the new husband has to come up with a way to send the child to college-providing that he or she is a good student and is expected to support the child when he or she is in trouble but not good enough to discipline the child. Just throwing in these provisos so that anyone reply cannot duck under them. IF when you dated the guy-he is not an abuser, molestor, criminal or any bad thing and I am speaking ONLY of marriage, not dating or shacking-in those instances-I can understand a WOMAN being very reluctant that any MAN discipline her child. And the childrens' natural or biological father have NEVER or minimally involved in their lives and will be the same in the future and your new husband never ever bad mouth the children's biological father and never hindered him from seeing the children unless the children been hurt physically or psychollogically by him. If this ground been covered, I understand the lack of replys.
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am not a single father. But I think if a man is providing for a woman's child, then how can they restrict him from correcting the child when it is needed? If a woman lets a man in her house, then she would have to assume that he has the best interest of her children at heart. If this isn't the case, then he shouldn't be in her home. This is one of many contradictions & double standards I see towards men who date/marry women with children. It is also one of the reasons why a lot of men avoid these types of relationships.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    i feel that if a she allow him into her home , heart and they get married
    he should be able to help out with the growth of a child or children and
    likewise if it was a female .....as a growing family these measures are taken
    they should be able to do what it takes as a family when it come to the child
    i don't agree with what she say on that ....but agree with panafrica in whole
     
  4. yaphet al-wynn

    yaphet al-wynn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for the replies so far-I was wondering was that attitude is of young women now, or it has ALWAYS been with women, but it was not announced or enunciated as loud as now. In most instances, really that I asked the question-most women that I recalled when I was young-over 40 years, was that once the woman remarried, the child(ren)'s are in the stepfathers' hands for everything-including discipline as long as he was right and right thinking plus taking care of them..
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    yes so true in lots of cases but today it really have change a lot
    but once they married and these children become his or hers to
    raise them right as one can teach them the right path and care
    for them as your own also if discipline is needed so it's also his place
    to handle it under one roof and under the same guidelines laid out
    this will be the way it is but not today most the time they really don't
    want another man or woman spanking their children or child it's what
    i call the Daddy , Moma drama stuff .
     
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