I noticed your best friend first sitting there and I didn't make the connection until you started to stand up. You hesitated but I jumped right in and said hi real warmly like it was all good - I do that well. "What are you doing here?" you said and it could have been just a question but it felt too much like all of your put downs derisions judgements. I could have said I still love this group no thanks to you, *****, and poetry is cool but I politey said I heard about this and wanted to be here. Your best friend - my former in-law, for god sakes - was acting weird **** this I said I'm gonna go sit down and I took a seat way over there. You could easily see me from your seat but I would have had to turn slightly to see you, and for a few moments I felt like I was in high school again, awkward in my self-consciousness. But the poetry eased the tension to the back of my brain where it belonged and at halftime I left the room for a while to pee and go walking and I thought, the bald head still looks as dumb on you as it did when you first shaved it after we broke up and what's up with the new ear piercing? Whatever I bet you don't even go to the gym anymore. The reading was over and I went to say goodbye make small talk - do you still work at the hospital - and you said yeah but that was all and it was up to me to talk more and you didn't even ask how I was or what I was doing, just kinda acted snotty or disinterested, I couldn't figure out which and I didn't care. We can never be friends it is not possible and when I left, you were helping to put away the chairs and I said to myself, some things never change and I wanted to pop you one but I walked out the door and kept walking to my car away from you away from 1999 which is where I am dragged back to whenever I talk to you I am never going back there never going back there. By the time I got home I had forgotten about you again, because once you let go the mind is kind and doesn't bother you with bad films anymore, but the next time I see you I think I'll just wave because I've got better things to do.