Black Poetry : Judgment

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by starrchile, May 11, 2001.

  1. starrchile

    starrchile New Member MEMBER

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    he sits stone faced and motionless
    as they repeat events that lead to his
    demise
    his eyes
    that used to be the window to his soul
    seems closed now
    and cold
    cold
    like the rooms that he slept in, in the abandoned
    building that he crept in
    when he had no where to go
    abused
    alone
    mother's crack baby
    father's maybe
    see no one ever knew, cause his moms was a prostitute
    left to fend for himself
    his sister's father at twelve
    forced to give up childhood games
    to reclaim, a manhood that was never his
    and judgment began
    judgment began
    as he drifts back from his dream state
    he hears the irate lawyer at his side
    rewind
    back to his teenage years
    back to sisters fears
    at mothers death
    and wonders why?
    see he believes that she took the easy way, cause
    only cowards die
    heart cold now
    eulogy statements bring smiles to their faces
    at the parody of a loving mother
    drifting past ears of frustration
    knowing
    she was mother to the pipe
    and lover to the street life
    neighborhood in panic
    from fear of his automatic, shottie
    little John Gotti
    back from deliberation
    juror's heads bow down in shame
    stand to hear your fate
    they call him menace
    and the court shout's Amen
    but who was there to witness
    the pain of a grown man
    heart cold now
    he stand as ridged as an African warrior
    his battle already won
    his end is near

    Copyright © 2001, starrchile luminations
     
  2. thepoetsean

    thepoetsean Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    extraodinary piece

    kind of reminds me of "return to innocence lost"

    keepwritingi'mwatching...

    sean.:)
     
  3. MzNappi

    MzNappi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    as they repeat events that lead to his demise”
    how about this
    *as events are repeated that lead to his demise*
    now the question of who “they” is can be eliminated

    “that used to be the window to his soul”
    *that were windows to his soul*

    i hope i didn t offend you with the suggestions
    i liek to see my peeps take it to the next level in anything we choose to endeavor in
    unecessay words can make poetry rocky to read
    the key to good flows is to keep it smooth

    nice work!!! keep the words alive!!!
     
  4. N2urSoul

    N2urSoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Star~

    Tight scribe poet!
    Keep flowin' like ya' knowin'!

    Peace & 1 :heart:
     
  5. alyce

    alyce Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this is what I'm talkin bout

    miss gurl....FRESH as when I heard you speak it, sis! All I want is mo!

    Welcome home starr!

    :heart:


    alyce
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Welcome ~ Welcome ~ Welcome

    :wave: :wave: :wave:

    Welcome ~ Welcome ~ Welcome

    Starrchile ... beautiful deep flow
    tyte ... thank you for this

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well Done!!!

    And nicely put!!! I'm diggin this...Keep scribin...
     
  8. GYPSYMAN

    GYPSYMAN Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    PREVALENT PIECE

    ALL TOO TRUE.....EXCELLENT WORK!!!

    On A Continuous Journey
    GYPSYMAN
     
  9. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The flow on this was red hot
    Nice piece poet
     
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