Black People : Judging "Self-Haters"...

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by spicybrown, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Being the web surfer I am... I search for and skim/read any and all Black message boards I possibly can. Often times topics such as "Self Hate in the Black Community" emerge. Within such discussions, one is likely to witness conversations of the following calibre:

    >> DARIUS: "I don't date BW because they have stank attitudes."

    >> SHARONDA: "Oh n_cc_ please, that's just an excuse... you just full of SELF-HATE!"

    >> DARIUS: "Why I gotta hate myself because I refuse to date a woman who isn't loud & bossy?"

    >> SHARONDA: "WW/Others have attitudes too, sometimes even worse. Y'all just
    trying to breed Black folks off the planet!!!"


    Aside form the latent political incorrectness of the dialogue... does this exchange of words ring a bell for you?

    Now, I wonder how many of us really believe that a person is content in his/her self hate. If ever spouted from any of you, when was the last time YOU judged some one in that frame of reference, and sought to help them explore the dynamics behind Black self-hate? I believe most self-hate is subconscious; therefore, those of us who are afflicted by it won't literally look in the mirror and "cringe". Black folks tend to hurl that accusation relentlessly.

    Any doctor can look at a patient with Karposis Sarcoma and surmise AIDS is the cause.

    BUT...

    Is self-hate really as recognizable as we deem it? Could our sometimes irrational & subsequent response to life's never-ending obstacles be confused with "self-hate"?

    What is YOUR in-depth, non-dictionary, definition of "SELF-HATE"?

    Having said that, I'd like to know:
    • How many of us have "diagnosed" a Brother or Sister with this wretched dis-ease?
    • How many of us have been accused of being a self-hater without having been psychoanalyzed afterwards. How did this make you feel?
    • Are there any admitted recovering or currently afflicted persons who would like to testify?
    • Those who have recovered: do you view life differently now that you've freed your mind?
    I sincerely would love to believe that NO man/woman WANTS to hate themselves.

    Makes for a good discussion?

    Welp, if you've read this far, you may as well respond:geek:

    Peace
     
  2. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If a person makes unreasonable demands on another,i don't if that falls under self hating. Personally, i now of such a person. There are others who can do no wrong,or see no wrong. They definitely cannot ever apologize either. Their hearts just not big enough.

    We as black people carry different degrees of baggage sister. Maybe self-hating is a part of this. I do know putting the emphasis off of yourself onto another helps your spirit. I don't think most people hate themselves,but some folks lash out because they're not emotionally equipped to handle things in a better fashion.

    It's not about intelligence either. It is about keeping things in harmony. The simple truisms whole true. Keeping things in balance,physically,emotionally,and spiritually is good for you and your soul.

    Those are some symptons,along with i hope simple solutions. Lastly, all of us have to take a step back some time an evaluate ourselves,by looking in the mirror at our souls! Peace!

    Love her constantly,consistently,and with concern!
     
  3. Metaverse

    Metaverse Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace and Self-Love Spicybrown & Destee Fam!

    “Self-Hatred” is a very prominent issue in the Black Community online and offline. Like you I’ve noticed this issue in most of the forums I browse on the net. My guess is that the web is the perfect place for honest inner reflection. It should be. If we are honest with ourselves, we all understand Self Hatred, more so than we would like to admit out-loud.

    I have “diagnosed” allot of people with this disease, but it started with Self. You are so right to use the word “disease” as well to mention that it is sub-conscious. I was once in a forum on paltalk- voice chat, the topic was about issues the Black Community suffers from. A Sistah was in the forum screaming to the top of her lungs about her White Husband, how much her husband was so much better than Black Men- Black Men were no good etc., etc., Well as you can imagine it got very ugly in the room after that.

    The reason I mentioned this story is because Self-Hatred is created as well as transferred, just like a virus and as you call it- a dis-ease. For the screaming Sistah I would say it was created, and like a living virus Self-Hatred needs a transfer point. I can’t always say that because a person decides to have an Interracial Relationship that means its Self-Hatred, but in this Sistah’s case she made it clear because of her comparison to her White Husband to the Black Men she dated. We are mirrors for one another.

    We often attract who we are, in fact- the law of attraction states you always attract what who you think you are anyway. Even those sub-conscious thoughts create our reality. So who is my “Self” – my self- is me, as well as those who I attract. If people could understand that one little tidbit of information, they’d be amazed at how quickly their lives become balanced. Because then, you’re like ohhhhh. How can you hate the people you attract? Those people are only physical manifestations of your own thought patterns, or else you wouldn’t be able to attract them in the first place.

    The disease of Self-Hatred goes deeper. Because we also carry the genetics of those who hated us directly and with a passion. At times, Blacks who exercise their Self-hatred are simply calling up the genetic information of the Slave Owners/Masters in their blood line. I know I just made a very controversial statement, but its worth reflecting on. If Dogs and Cats could have children, common sense tells me the “Catog” if it looked more like a cat than a dog would possibility bite itself violently from time to time. It sounds funny, but some Black people do that. That is the core of our Self-Hatred. Somewhere we actually believe we deserve our suffering.

    And for those of us who may not have these active oppressor genes, the Self-Hatred is simply taught or transferred to us. Still, we can’t really talk about Self-Hate without talking about Self-Love, which is a very easy cure. It’s unfortunate that we speak about our Women as “beings with attitudes” Angry Black Women - ill-tempered, etc., - because that’s what causes the screaming Sistah to find the White Husband and hate Black Men. We have lost our sense of community love. We have accepted the European’s greatest curse and deception- Individualism. If we were to study African culture, even if we just studied Africa’s animal families- we would get a sense of their community intelligence. How can you find the time for Self-Hatred among a community of understanding, love and respect?

    We need to find the time to invest in, and build these communities. Imagine Destee.com as an actual physical Community of people who live together and network together- well, this our KMT right there.
     
  4. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    [FONT=PalatinoLinotype"]Indeed, the perfect venue to engage in anonymous conversation without the fear of "humiliation". TGFI:lol:

    Now that is ridiculous. She may feel entitled to spout that her "greater than" white husband treated her better than her black ex's... but to pitt one white man against the whole Black male race... can we say "ignorant"?

    You're right! I pretty much figured Black and white genetics conflict in the first place. The thought seems elementary; BUT, if whites supposedly have an innate hatred for Blacks, and Blacks have white in them; wouldn't there be a "inner-personality clash" in such a mixture? Could this be the dynamic behind the "tragic mulatto"? More so for the Blacks who are generationally mixed with "massa-era" white blood. They say the devil is the devil irregardless of place & time, but I suspect the generationally mixed Blacks are hit harder due to the harsher treatments that massa doled out; and in turn pumped his hatred intoour veins, literally!

    So true, is this why SOME of us are able to evade this disease with reverse social programming?

    Your insight is unrivaled. BTW, Welcome "Home".

    Peace
    [/FONT]
     
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