Poetry Critiques : Jam on it

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by rhymebad, Sep 30, 2009.

  1. rhymebad

    rhymebad Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Jam on it

    I eat fudge and like a complete jude make judicial decisions //To avoid critical collisions saw it all over on the televisions //Its strange enough to have to arrange and settle stuff must find //My way back home this crack alone can fry brains make guys blind //And lame so like Wesley Snipes yall take this messy pipe this designed //For Pookie on New Jack City it make me act ****ty, whack and ascine //But like Pookie said this stuff just be calling me back all the time //Knowledge is troublesome like bubblegum it stick to my mind //Make me write sick rhymes quick and divine get trick sometime //Stay on a bazaare pace like Scar face and the Geto boyz yeah homey //My mind playing tricks on me, put my rhymes in order do it strongly //Be ready to blind and slaughter like divine altar, combine numbers //As my rhymes thunders like rain clouds maintain a crowd of Hummers //And style loud during the summers use salt and pepper on my cucumbers //My words are magnetic particle together make pathetic articles like newspapers //Like Smooth vapors from volcanos lots of smokes in my quotes make crews taper //Off like fitting skirts, cats gitting hurt trying to step to this brisk literary work //Made up of grammar and glamour that’ll hammer brains like carpenters be alert //Love bling in club when I sing about love don’t hold the notes long make me come //Up with quotes wrong but still smoke microphones and take a sip of gutsy rum //Afterwards,
     
  2. rhymebad

    rhymebad Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    critique let me hear it HA! HA! HA!
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I like the way it cross ova into the next and blaze ...very nice bruh !
     
  4. Mikha'el

    Mikha'el Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I like the flow its nice
     
  5. Scrupulous Poet

    Scrupulous Poet Member MEMBER

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    The flow is tite like 2 virgins. I like it