Black Poetry : I've Got This Problem...

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by serenti-poet, May 5, 2003.

  1. serenti-poet

    serenti-poet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Okay before you go on ya'll need to know recently I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed. Although I am not in the worse stages I am very capable of being. I wrote this poem the other day just thought I would share...

    I've got this problem...

    Once I start crying, I can't stop.
    The worst part is my eyes swell like
    I've been knocked around a couple
    of times.
    Sometimes when I'm alone or not
    noticed, I start to shiver.
    Not consistently but just a quick
    jerk that starts between my thighs
    and makes it's way to my shoulders.
    No one notices, well hardly ever, when
    they do they laugh, I never find the humor.
    Once my mama said it's because
    someone is walking over my grave, so
    whenever it happens I close my eyes
    tightly until bright colors appear.
    After the spasm it's like a blackness surrounds
    me, but it's always from the inside.
    No matter how happy I am, the spasm
    brings sadness.
    I feel it growing in me making me remember,
    remember everything that shuts me down,
    all the tears, all the memories, all the pain.
    When the blackness expands and I'm shut
    down all the way, it's unbearable.
    Animosity holds my hands that are always
    entwined in something, I do believe to keep
    from hitting someone, anyone.
    At school when the shudders start in
    the middle of a class I close my eyes and
    pray no one stares, touches, bothers,
    or talks to me.
    They almost always happen at school but
    when they happen at home it's easy.
    I hide in my room, sit back against my head
    board and listen to Hello by Lionel Richie.
    Peculiarly it makes the blackness go away
    but the song makes me cry but like I said
    they almost always happen at school.
    If it happens in between classes in the
    corridor, it's worse I always forget
    where I'm goin and all the people
    piss me off no matter what ther say or do.
    Once I make it to class people know somethings
    not right with me and they ask me what's wrong
    but they know they'll never understand but they
    still care and that hurts me for some reason.
    And then I start crying and once I start I can't stop.

    I have this problem. :(

    Okay now listen ya'll don't get all emotional on me or nothin, I just want ya'll to pray for me. And can someone plz tell me how to put a picture under my name on here. :) plzzzzzzzzzzz

    peace and blessins fam keep flowin for me
     
  2. serenti-poet

    serenti-poet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh by the way the school I am referring to is a middle school that I teach at just thought I would inform ya'll. :)
     
  3. sarcasm4eva

    sarcasm4eva Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    dayum girl, im so sorry.im hear if u need to talk.tyte *** poem.....reminds me of my man...........much love{openin her arms 4 a hug} :)
     
  4. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    I,ll pray for you gurl. It sounds like anxiety attacks which also stems from depression. I,m no docter but i do know that you can get a prescription for that if thats what it is. its for emergencies
    such as that. It wont stop you from feelin sad though. stay strong and love you and believe it when i say this, you matter and know one is better than you. we all have our flaws. so hang in there. I'll be here if you need to vent.
     
  5. LovelyGoldenOne

    LovelyGoldenOne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    this poem is somethin' serious...i love it...and i know the exact feelin's u get...i'm gonna pray for you ok?

    ~much luv~
     
  6. Royal_T

    Royal_T Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah, there is a prescription for things like that.....love! I'll pray, so the days you feel like crying, you won't want to. You'll smile. We all have our times...I'm feeling you...you my girl.
     
  7. cypher

    cypher Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wish i could take your pains far away....i surely will pray that when u get this feeling that u smile instead of cry....urluved.....
     
  8. serenti-poet

    serenti-poet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks you all I'm getting some help as soon as possible so I'll be okay don't worry about me i'm grwon woman i can handle my own but yeah I still need ya'll LUV so give it to me. :kiss: I luv ya'll continue to pray :):):) p.s. somebody plz tell me how to get a picture under my name on here lol like cypher has up there :) thanks in advance luv ya'll again
     
  9. serenti-poet

    serenti-poet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    oh yeah oh yeah GROUP HUG!!! :):):)
     
  10. serenti-poet

    serenti-poet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    oh if anyone knows any information about being clinically depressed then either PM me or write it on here thanks in advance ya'll peace and blessins keep flowin :)
     
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