Mourning the loss of you and you're still breathing, eating, shi^^ing, sleeping (with who (not that I care)?) You say, no, no, that's not it, just some things I am going through . . . You said at the beginning we would always be friends but, what does that mean when whenever or however i need you we're on borrowed time (that you always end). It's been three weeks since I have heard from you (without me calling you, questioning why you don't call me) so its obvious other than (financial) obligations you made (and already $$$spent$$$) you want nothing to do with me so my options seem limited in what I can do its not like we were ever committed to eachother, (more like I was in . . . what. . .not love or lust, maybe admiration of you and your style and ways, and now I don't know why) all i know is everytime I look at the phone my stomach turns in knots wondering what it was I didn't give you to make you love me. . . maybe love and trust. . . neither which you deserved from me anyway.