Poetry Critiques : Its Time

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by smoothsoul, Jan 16, 2007.

  1. smoothsoul

    smoothsoul Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    On The Sabbath The Skies Manage To Produce A Solemn Glow
    Sleepness Nights Are Lived, Awaiting His Return
    Or The Return Of Whatever "He" Has Taken The Shape Of
    The Chance Of An Energy Simply Coming To Awaken Us
    Dodging A Killers Bullet
    Wise To Another Pandemic While The First One Still Murders
    The Life Blood Of The World Running Dry
    The Esurient Merchants Growing With Audacity
    Careless To The Needs Of Humanity As Nature Grows More Restless To Our Ignorance
    Poisoning Our Home
    My Water
    The Flesh Of My Family, The Air
    My Nourishment That I Use To Live And Enjoy
    Our Leaders Growing More Callous To The Needs Of The Indigent
    Those Without Opportunity
    As We Are Slaves To Money
    Numbers With Barcodes Across Our Foreheads
    Test Subjects For Experiments And Inhumane Treatment
    As The Hard Working Become Extinct Because Of Unmindful Pracitices Of The Corporate Elite....

    It Cant Happen This Way.

    We've Asked For It Too Much

    Its Now Time We Take It So We Can Give To Those Who Need

    The Weapons Are Stirring Nervously Under Our Clothes

    Its Time That We Do Something
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    strong / good to the point well scribed
    this piece need no changing
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What this made me feel was the presence of a ticking time bomb. We can act now, or face dire consequences later. Your words snatch the readers attention, poet.