Thinking of now and the advent of new line excuses, I have been given reason to set aside my pen and get lost - n - isolated thought. That has closed my mouth opened my ears and put me in touch with feelings I ponder and frankly wish never exsisted. like the one of loving Jezebelle in all her many forms and being torn between the idea and the reality of heartache and love risks taken but never thought through and through all the smoke sunshine i'd do it again. My Love for you is over, and no pretence can overshadow that fact I love you for now but that is a fact left up to time and action and as for that and also for now I hate you because your life and your priorities, and your wants came before I, that cost the loss of material goods found pawned to pay your way out of my life. for now you smile and pretend that I we are friends when the fact that friendships yours are bought and or borrowed I am still hurting a little for now.