Violaters / Violations : It's not my intention to be disruptive.

Discussion in 'Violators and Violations (Possible Ones)' started by Ken Taylor, Apr 1, 2014.

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  1. Ken Taylor

    Ken Taylor Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I was banned from a conversation near and dear to my heart after asking, in what I believe to be a respectful manner, for a source of a claim that I believed to be false. Within the same post, I stated my opinion that:
    1) I believe it to be a mistake when a child is born out of wedlock.
    2) It is preventable from both the men and the woman's side of the issue.
    3) Both the man and the woman are at fault.
    4) IMO, the man is more responsible than the woman. (If he wants to call himself a MAN)

    It is a well documented fact that fatherlessness is the common denominator in many negative life consequences. As an example, over 85% of all prison inmates come from fatherless homes.

    This issue is near and dear to my heart because I am the product of a fatherless home. My mother did a great job of doing the job of mother and father. She also kept me in the presence of strong, positive role models such as my Grandfather and uncles. Even still, I know first hand that there is no replacement for a father AND a mother in the home.

    Since the effects of fatherlessness is well documented and undeniable, and our rate of OOW childbirth is in excess of 70% it is an issue that requires mature and honest discussion. This can be done in a respectful manner.

    A 70% OOW childbirth rate is a problem. A discussion which allows false claims to go unquestioned and considers respectfully presented opposing views to be disruptive will make some people fell better about the mistakes they made which contribute to the 70% OOW rate, but it will never result in the problem being solved or even acknowledged to be a problem.

    I understand and respect the demand for a discussion that doesn't include ugly and demeaning talk against single mothers. My own mother was a single parent and I hold her in high esteem for the sacrifice and struggle that she endured to raise me. Acknowledging the mistake that resulted in this magnificent human being (Me :) ) doesn't equate to demeaning the woman that I love, respect, and appreciate nor is it being disruptive.

    Fatherlessness is nothing to celebrate, it's a problem to address.
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    You have spent lots of time in The Violation Zone ... unbeknownst to your own self ... i suppose.

    You repeatedly violate the rules, get warned, banned, etc., ... leave for a while ... and come back doing the same.

    Yes, there has been an uninterrupted period of time that you've not violated ... but it's because you've not been here.

    That time away does not count toward the time required for you to demonstrate an ability to abide by our rules.

    That time does not go toward getting you out of the violation zone.

    Getting out of the violation zone requires that you actually be here, engaging respectfully without breaking rules.

    Now ... regarding this topic specifically ... being banned from the Single Black Mother's thread.

    You know i aint hearing it ... i aint hearing what you got to say ... don't say nuth'n 'bout black women ... period.

    I've warned you many times ... on this specific topic ... violating ... Rule # 3 - No Gender War Fights.

    You end up in this same space repeatedly, and say it's not intentional. Okay ... but i can't help you with that.

    I will help myself, and this community, by removing you from the scenario ... since you don't see a problem.

    You're so disrespectful ... you'll probably be one of the first banned from threads before you even post to them.

    That's how bad it is ... it's predictable disruption ... same ol' same ol' ... i can see it coming from a mile away.

    Not that it really matters ... i'll quote a piece of your foolishness from the thread you were banned from.



    You actually think you're saying something good about single black mothers, as you stab our character in closing.

    You think that is okay. You're here defending it right now, asking a single black mother to allow you to continue.

    To allow you to continue diminishing and attacking the character of other single black mothers.

    I can't help you.

    Take it somewhere else.

    :heart:

    Destee

    ps ... i'm deleting the poll (soon as i figure out how) ... 'cause you don't get to talk about this topic here, post polls about it, or anything close ... not until you can show a consistent base level of respect toward single black mothers / black women ... that all people deserve.

    ::
    ::
     
  3. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    single parenthood is definitely an issue within our community...
    but when u just attack one side of the coin without equally attacking the other side
    it causes more issues and more problem within the black community...specifically this one...

    one love
    khasm
     
  4. Ken Taylor

    Ken Taylor Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for your response.
    Would you do me a favor and read the first paragraph of my first post in this thread and tell me how have I attacked one side without equally attacking the other. Look specifically at the numbered pointswhich summarizes my overall position. I think your assessment is wrong but I welcome a discussion of why you believe I have attacked one side and not the other and how I can better participate in this issue without offending people while not compromising my opinion.
     
  5. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    u threw up stats about the ills of oow births but did not throw up any stats on the inequities of the judicial system as it relates to men of color....which has a significant bearing on "ur" stats...
    can u see the coin now? and that is just once example...i have more...

    one love
    khasm
     
  6. Ken Taylor

    Ken Taylor Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No, I don't see the connection between the iniquities of the judicial system and the out of wedlock childbirth rate. Could you please explain?
     
  7. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    upload_2014-4-2_9-9-15.jpeg

    one love
    khasm
     
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  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I know you aint asked me ... cause i dun already told you ... but obviously my answer wasn't good enuff ... after all ... i am a woman ... not just any woman ... but a black single mother woman ... so i can understand your need to go further, look for someone else to give you a different / better answer ... but whenever you get through talking to all the folk that might give you the answer you're looking for ... you'll still be faced with the same challenge ... dealing with me ... if you wanna post here.

    I don't believe you have the capacity to demonstrate consistent, respectful engagement here.

    I'll never believe you can do it, until i see you do it ... none of your long-winded talk alone will convince me.

    I don't think you got it in you ... 'cause i've asked for it time and time again ... and it has yet to be put on the table.

    You're so accustomed to being around folk that let you have your way, say any kind of ol' raggedy, foul stuff you wanna say ... that when you get around folk other than them ... you don't know how to act ... don't know what respectful engagement is ... and you think i'm finna put up with your slow pace at learning it ... what you should have learned as a child ... and now you're an old man ... please.

    What it's gonna take for you to "better participate in this issue without offending people while not compromising your opinion" ... is to go somewhere else ... go where this foolishness is accepted.

    A person has to first see a problem in their own selves, before they can fix it.

    You see no problem ... therefore ... there is no problem (for you to fix).

    Stay like that ... remain as you are ... 'cause when you aint here ... i aint fuss'n at you.

    It's a win - win ... :score: ... just go where you aren't compromised ... where they accept your bs.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. Ken Taylor

    Ken Taylor Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't understand your response. While I acknowledge the inequities in the judicial system, I see no connection at all between that inequity and children being born outside of wedlock.

    I would like to understand the point you are trying to make and would much rather you make the point in plain English rather than playing a game of Pictionary. Would you do me the favor of explaining the connection that you claim exist between the inequities in the judicial system and children being created outside the bounds of marriage?
     
  10. Ken Taylor

    Ken Taylor Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What is with this "after all..I am a woman...not just any woman...but a Black single mother woman"? Does this not make it clear that my I don't have an issue with single mothers??
    1) I believe it to be a mistake when a child is born out of wedlock.
    2) It is preventable from both the men and the woman's side of the issue.
    3) Both the man and the woman are at fault.
    4) IMO, the man is more responsible than the woman. (If he wants to call himself a MAN)

    I respect you no less than I respect my very own mother. Like you, she was a "Black single mother woman". As a 48 year old man, I still say "Yes ma'am" and "No ma'am" to my momma. I have taught my children, by example, how to love, respect, and honor my momma.

    My question to you is do you believe that fatherlessness is a problem within our community? If you don't believe that it is, I understand your position. If you do believe that fatherlessness is a problem, I don't understand why you would have a problem with any of the 4 points that I have made which summarizes my position. If nothing more, I would sincerely appreciate an answer to the question as to rather you believe that fatherlessness is a problem within our community.
     
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