It Ain't All Bad

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by river, Apr 9, 2006.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Brothas,

    Both the brotha's and the sista's forums are filled with your angst and disatisfaction with Black women. Much of what I am reading leaves me totally discomboberated.

    When a sista gave her laundry list of losers she had dated she was told that if she had the proper spiritual foundation and attitude she would not attract such men. How many of you are prepared to apply that same verdict to yourselves? What are you doing that attracts all the Mookieshas? Do you think a positive minded sista is going to be attracted to your negaive attitude?

    I am left thinking man, your persona in real life must be totally different from the one here on Destee. On Destee you are kings, gods, warriors, teachers. Some of us sistas, myself included, would move heaven and earth just to sit at your feet and absorb the wisdom of your words. I'm not exaggerating in the least. If you are as awesome in the real world as you are here then you ought to get the same results. I mean, I can understand we all meet a few losers in our lives, but some of y'all are ready to write off entire cities and continents as bereft of any woman who suits you.

    We are the queens, the shequetis, the goddesses, If your beef is not with us then why dump on us the negativity you find out on the street? Don't you have any friends on your block? They know about Mookiesha so talk to them about it. or have a for men only forum where you can go and regurgitate on each other.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    i hear ya .....happy i don't fit in this group
    not every man think or act nor feel this way
     
  3. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    Re-sponding to Rich:

    I second that.

    CD
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    ok, i'll stop writing off the north american continent.
     
  5. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree.....

    They say the chuch is the honeycomb hide-out for devils........so a Black forum may serve the same purpose for some folk. That's why I started a thread titled: "Lyin to kick it":) No disrespect to the Brothers:picture:
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    hummmmm!!! interesting ................lyin to kick it !
    I know that the realism of many shouldn't need to be lyin
    just to kick it as brotherly and sisterly in one common ground

    Sometimes it more then what is seen that carry the truth beyond
    what is told .
     
  7. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    *sigh*


    It's not the women we have a problem with. Often, it is a select group of females and moreover, your insistance on defending anything in a skirt. No matter what wrong they do. Furthermore, the failure to deal with the issue of them contributing to the downfall of the race. ( And yes I know that is a heavy load to place on one segment )

    So I submit, that a seeming attact on this segment, should not be interpreted as an attack on all femininity. But, instead, constructive criticism.

    :welldone:
     
  8. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think the problem with most of the brothers and myself who post have or who consciously posted negative comments about sisters, fail to realize that behavior is not determined by pigmentation; moreover, all peoples exhibit these behaviors in some shape form or fashion.


    I personally think that some of the sisters and brothers just need to go have a personal session with Naim Akbar. When I read some of the rhetoric that they use, I can clearly see why they have female and male problems.

    However, I will diverge into speaking about men.

    I also think one of the problems that our men face is that we have adopted a Eurocentric perspective of our women. We have abandoned our ancient principles of respect and admiration for our women. We have bought into the European patriarchal social system of living, which is not apart of our heritage. This system is not designed for our survival; it is merely designed for our destruction. This system attempts to apply taxonomy to social duties, which in our history was un-heard of, and non-productive. In our history, all genders had a place in the social system, and all contributed and shared to growth and development of our social psyche. In ancient Alkebulan men participated in all aspects of life in tandem with women.

    One of my goals in life that I have accomplished is that I have shaken off this imperialistic social shackle called the nuclear family. I realize now that in order for me to survive on this sphere, I will need to work with my black woman and not against her.

    In conclusion, I hope that one day we can come to the boards and see a more unified dialogue between brothers and sisters!

    Peace.
     
  9. mchinadoll

    mchinadoll Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well said Manasiac.
     
  10. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    HERU NEFER EN SHEQHETI:

    Despite the consensus, I am indeed well aware of how some of my (I cannot hold verdict for no one else's perspectives here, even though they might mirror mine; besides, I've a feeling that much of this was meant to be directed to me just the same) statements might be perceived on here.

    For the longest time, it was a battle for me, to even post some of my perspectives about my personal life, not only because the negative connotation that could be construed from it, but also because of the pain it brings me all the more.

    Regarding your emboldened statement above, I humbly thank you. It is for you, and Sisters like you on here, and in the world at large, that I continue this struggle--both internal and external--of mine.

    However, I've found that there are an abundance of Sisters of your ilk on-line, but hardly ever in the linear world. If there were, then I would not feel the need to relocate in order to connect with them. That is the external struggle that I speak of.

    However, and as always, it is the internal struggle that bears the greatest weight resting upon it........It manifests as the conundrum that I face on a daily basis; the one where I'm constantly having to balance that aspects of my spiritual path that are very effective for me, against those aspects that are not.

    Would, that my spirituality could manifest the kind of women in my life that I would prefer, but alas, this falls into the latter category (the failing aspects of my spirituality). :(

    You and the ladies here like you, give me hope to keep struggling, especially against what seems to be insurmountable odds. However, when I log off from here, I'm am smacked with the irrefutable reality :driveby: that not even some of this world we live in, is even remotely like you.

    Thus, everyday (or every other day) I return here, where I dream, imagine, and even fantasize ( :D) about you, and the other Sisters here like you.

    God, I feel like that poor kid, who never had a date in high school, :bully: so he runs home everyday :run: to his room and pulls out his "nudey books", :book: because he feels like that's his only option. :crying:

    I really wish that some of you could walk with me for just a day. That way, you would see that #1) I am not imagining or making up the things I share here, and #2) I am truly doing everything I can, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and socially to correct my predicament.

    However, in the meantime, and since that's not possible, I suppose the one thing I above others have been asking for with regard to this, is a bit more understanding. I listen to the stories and testimonies that some of the other Brothers here have, about how good their lady(s) is/are to them, and how Sisters are the greatest thing in this world, since Rice Milk.....I really do wish that I could have similar stories to share with you all, but in (my) reality.............I don't. The reality for me, is that the only such story I can share about such a Black woman, who had shown me unconditional understanding, patience, encouragement, and love, has already returned to the Essence.

    I don't share my experiences and concerns, albeit negative, for the purpose of villifying Black women, and certainly not to make the awesome Sisters here feel bad. Most of the time, my intent behind my sharing is for the purpose of learning, so that I can better my predicament. That's why most of my statements are laced with questions. Also, I'm looking to relate to others, who may have gone through what I have, so that I no longer feel alienated from this.

    However, it seems that this is mostly for naught, as not only do most people here lack the patience, understanding, and overall interest in me or my situation, but also because I myself have been villified as a result of my sharing. I have attracted all sorts of attributes from people here, such as "skurred", bitter, a whiner, a "skaredy-cat", depressed, insecure, and even having my manhood brought into question.

    As none of this was nor is accurate, all these false names do is cause me to have even further disinterest in wanting to correct this problem, as I'm a firm adherant that the correction of a problem should not be the cause of more problems.

    The Brother Elder has instructed me that "letting it go" is perhaps the best option, and in doing, perhaps discussing it (neither here or in general) might not be the best option for all parties involved. Upon my first visitation of this site, I had always had trepidation with visiting the Relationship section, for this very reason. I think it's best, that I only stay within the perameters of the Spiritual, Cultural, and Health sections here, as those were the sections that drew me here to begin with.

    In the meantime, I suppose the only option I have, is to continue seeking solutions internally, as I wrestle with my idealistic view of how I venerate the Black woman in my mind and heart, and my harsh reality, of how she treats me in such a manner that contradicts how I envision her to be.

    PEACE
     
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