Black Relationships : is this a new trend in dating?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by ladylibra, Jun 29, 2005.

  1. ladylibra

    ladylibra Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hi guys,

    i notice that lately when i meet a guy that within a few days if not the first day he asks, "can i come see you?"

    while i don't have a problem with him wanting to see me i do have a problem with someone i just met wanting to come to my house.

    i honestly don't know what to make of this but in the mean-time i am trying not to internalize/be offended by this seemingly popular question. however, i must admit that it is an instant turn-off and the guy has diminished his appeal to me.

    i am always stumped by this question b/c it seems as natural as asking me what time it is....

    guys, put me in the know.

    thanks in advance.
     
  2. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Ladylibra

    Hello, fellow Libran. :D

    I tend to take things a lot slower...let the relationship develop naturally. I would not ask a woman that I just met if I could come over...as in visit her place. I'd rather wait for the invite.

    Nevertheless, if a guy asks you such question, politely express your view on it and watch for his response. His response will give a hint/clue to his character or his intent. If he gets upset and too persistent (guys will keep trying :D), then he may not be a person you want to continue seeing. If he accepts your decision, then it's all good...for now. Always be conscious of those who want to get close to you.

    That's my say on it. :D
     
  3. Garlando

    Garlando Member MEMBER

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    here we are

    Let them know how you feel, and politely switch it up or get clarification. Maybe they just want to go out with you. Maybe its there way to let you know they are mobile.

    Most important if they want to come to your house they may want to know somethings about that you do not reveal on the out side. Or they could be making a bad judgement that they can get into your heaven very fast. Be cautious take your time like I know you are.

    Sometimes we fail in order to succeed. :?:
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can't say this is a new trend in dating, because I've been out of the dating pool for a little while. However, some men always try to see how far they can go with a woman, as quickly as possible. Like the other brothers have stated, ask this guy why he wants to come over your house so soon. Then tell him why that isn't acceptable to you. If he doesn't like your answer, or if you don't like his...then move on!
     
  5. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When a guy asks if he can COME SEE YOU...he's asking if he can come to YOUR house and hit it. He doesn't ask you to come to his house because he doesn't want you to know where he lives, because he doesn't want to keep you around that long. He's probably going to get into your pants and then dog you, so he doesn't want you coming around his house starting mess after that....especially if he lives with another woman. That also may be the reason.
     
  6. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol.. agreed with brotha kente.. cause they assume cause yall met in a public place.. that you already are comfortable with them.. and if he figures that.. he figures you liek what you saw .. and liek him wouldnt mind minglin between the sheets.
     
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