Black Relationships : Is there any hope for Ebony male/female unions?

Is There Hope for Black Male/Female Unions?

  • Apparently, there is little to no hope; the situation has gone to the dumps.

    Votes: 9 20.9%
  • There is MUCH hope; I and/or others I know are in black-on-black Bliss.

    Votes: 25 58.1%
  • I haven\'t figured this one out yet, either.

    Votes: 9 20.9%

  • Total voters
    43

Nia Maishani

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Nov 22, 2001
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Displaced at the Junction of Hoosiers and Bluegras
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Either our standards are set too high (not higher than we can personally fill), we're in the wrong places at the wrong times, or it is a pipedream to maintain faith that SOME Ebony men out there are going to appreciate and respect an Ebony woman who is fully up to the challenge of building something meaningful and establishing & perpetuating Ebony-on-Ebony Love.

I know of too many of us who have given (or are presently giving) our all, only to be betrayed, underappreciated, taken for granted, backstabbed, dishonored, disgraced--you name the negative return--by the men in whom we place our faith.

What has gone wrong with Ebony men? Even those who many regard as respectable individuals, those who are supposed to be "conscious", those who are "supposed" to be pro-black, pro-family, you name it, seem to turn out to be impostors. This has been my recent experience, and the experience of more than one sisterfriend.

How does a black man, reared by a black woman (and her black man) just remorselessly take advantage of the interest of HIS black woman, and attempt to degrade her in return for her good efforts?

Do black women go too far to please their men or something? Do good "girls" TRULY finish last?
 
?
Well, since as a community we only marry outside of our race about 10% of the time... I wouldn't be too worried; or rather should I worry at all?

Nothing is wrong with Black Women--- we are just more conscious, and those of us who have reared Black males-- we have either loved them too much, which I think happens most of the time, or we have loved them too little...

I feel that many black women have spoiled black men, and once they get out there and find other black women who are not having it, they have to go out and find women who will cater to that need -- to be spoiled-- and many times that is outside; but then that has so many pitfalls, and according to issues of Ebony approx. 2 mionths agao, some men who run away find themselves lost... but then again, that was the reports in Psychology Today too...

Now, Black women are finding themselves going outside too...

So, really I do not know??? I think that you should love who loves you... And I know that most Black Men and Black Women are looking for each other.
 
Well said happy, I agree 100%. Some of the black men that Nia mentions, are raised by black women that do a great dis-service to black boys, by not teaching to be responsible the way many girls are raised.

Naturally, when these boys become "men" they really don't know what it means to maintain and themselves by themselves.

If you cannot be a self-contained man, what can you truly offer a full grown black woman.... brotha?
 
Sister Nia Maishani,

I think that the struggle for freedom includes all aspects of our lives. And because we are still in the process of God-Consciousness, black-on-black Bliss may be the ultimate goal, but I have continuous hope that mutual PEACE OF MND AND PROGRESSIVE LIVING is attainable now. This is what we must yearn for in our selves and our mates, let alone raise in our sons and daughters.

There is an old saying,
“Mothers love their sons and raise their daughters”

There may be a lot of truth to that. But I don’t think you can ever love any one too much, though you may be misguided in their upbringing. I use misguided in a loving and respectful way, because Black mothers understand the devouring lion that wait on their sons and they may have a tendency to cling instead of teach. This doesn’t mean that Black men are not also sometimes very or overly protective of their sons as well as their daughters. If you don’t have that natural balance male/female input sometimes ideals about relationships and life are developed in a vacuum.

Now the ideal that Black women are, for the most part, more conscious than Black men may be going a little to far, (happy69) in a proper analysis of why some Black men don’t get it when it comes to relationships, especially those who seem to be projecting a sense of awareness. Sometimes sisters get caught up in the outward cultural adornment of these brothers (i.e. dreads, garb, African jewelry and so forth) as if this is a sign of consciousness or they like that superficial Afro-hip cosmic talk without checking the brother’s depth of wisdom, knowledge or understanding of cultural and/or spiritual matters. Some sisters seek out brothers that are lacking, so they can only teach, instead of learn (and I emphasize SOME).

There is a difference in a GOOD man and a righteous man. For, another old saying said, “the road to hell is paved with GOOD intentions”. A righteous man will not always say what you want to hear and he will not always do what you want him to do, out of convenience. Paraphrasing what one of the teachers of old, once said, “A false prophet will tell you what your itching ears want to hear”. Also a righteous man knows his sense of RIGHT is only exemplified by his actions and not just by his words. As strange as it seems, honesty and truth sometimes have a hard road to travel.

So sister we all must keep our hope and faith, for, there are no choices, but death.

And our demise, because of misunderstandings, is unacceptable.

PEACE AND LOVE
ASHE
 

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