Black Relationships : Is Phone Sex Considered Cheating?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Aaliyahmonet, Oct 25, 2006.

  1. Aaliyahmonet

    Aaliyahmonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I recently talked to my best friend over the phone and she wasnt happy in her relationship and what not. She was tellin me how her boyfriend be talkin to other females off the net and be talkin dirty to them over the telephone. Even caught a girl her man was talkin to moanin over the phone while she in the other room watching tv. Her man says its not considered cheating he just tellin them (meaning women) what they wanna hear and that its his house and if she dont like it she can step. Is phone sex considered cheating? Let me break it down for the ladies....

    1. Yes, if u feel insecure about your relationship and you cant trust him, leave him there's better fish to fry. Why waste your time he's gonna keep doing it anyway.

    2. Could she be doing something that's not pleasing him? Besides sex? I suggest getting rid of the computer permanently, but what difference will it make, he can do the same in public.


    3. She says all men are dogs, but thats not the case. Why continue being with him and he says that you can be replaced?


    Lies destroys relationships and can get you hurt in the progress. Its your chance leave now, or suffer future consequences..........


    Aaliyahmonet
     
  2. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good question.

    Your friend's man has no respect for her to begin with ("don't like it take a hike"). If this guy feels like he needs to service women by giving them what they want... perhaps he needs to change his profession. If she feels uncomfortable with him doing it, then she feels 'cheated'...thus he is cheating on her. If he'll do this online, there's not telling what he'll do offline. Him giving her the ultimatum to deal or depart is just a confession that he knows in his heart he is doing wrong by her.

    Your friend has all the rad flags; ahem, should I say billboard evidence that this man is no good for her.

    IMO, a person who resorts to phone or cyber sex while involved is just 'practicing' and waiting for the perfect opportunity. That, or they have the urge, but not the confidence to go out and 'score'. Who'd want to be with some one who is vibing on some one else?

    I hope your friend overcomes this. It's hard to let go of some one you have loved for a long time when they have an irreversible destructive habit that is wreckless to you AND themselves. She needs thinks in terms of HER... he has NO qualms in seeking that which fulfills his needs/wants. Sorry, they need to split.

    Peace
     
  3. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Bad mojo any way it is looked at. But I would consider it "cheating" or at the very least, a serious violation of the Trust inherent/required in a relationship. (On the other hand, I am a very incurably, traditional romantic; an undoubtedly fatal flaw in me. <g>)

    1). Yeah, go there (away, that is); it'll prolly be much better after the hurt (of losing/leaving an already lost cause) eases (not that it truly does .. or so it seems at the time).

    2) No sense in dumping the puter: the puter ain't making the phone calls! As to whether or not she is doing anything; that might not matter since that wasn't in his response.

    3) I do so hate running into women after they've been hurt like this. She'll undoubtedly feel this way for a while after getting out of the mess. (Prolly won't be able to get over the attitude as long as she is still looking at/interacting with him.) But, since, according to him, it is "his house and if she dont like it she can step", she would prolly be better off. Not, of course, that that is not gonna feel as if it hurts worse than what she is living.
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    she don't like it, so.........:darts:
     
  5. Aaliyahmonet

    Aaliyahmonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Absolutely.......

    I think there's some soul searching to do. I hope Candace makes the right decision on what she wants to do. I'ma be there for her regardless, but she can do better and I love her like a sister. Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. Just tryna help my girl out ya know.

    Holla back

    AM
     
  6. PoeticManifesta

    PoeticManifesta Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    there is an easy response to this.. and its.. YES.
    Cheating is defined as anything you wouldnt do in front of your woman..
    with another woman without pissin her off..
    jelousy not included.:darts:
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    phone sex first of all is a mental thing that often sadly, sick, lonely or
    perversion people conduct for sexual pleasure or aberrant sexual behavior.

    cheating .....Yes !
    there is no fair act or respect in it for the other mate
    she shouldn't even wait , leave him fast quick and in a hurry.
     
  8. Eks

    Eks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    B-Spice, say it, say it again!!!!! come'n from a brotha..... **** straight it's cheating! Case closed!!!

    Next........................
     
  9. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :bellydance: Phone sex is not so much cheating as it may be a perversion. He isnt lying about his perversion. He's openly flaunting it. Therefore, she is either A: not providing something he needs/wants sensually or sexually. or B: He's an azzhole and should be allowed to be an azzhole alone :darts:
     
  10. sweettee29

    sweettee29 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Basically!

    Aaliyahmonet, your friend just has to know that she does not have to stand for this type of treatment from that man or any other.

    Does she have low self esteem?
    And at that moment she heard the girl on the phone what did she do?

    Phone sex is cheating because even though the actual physical is not taking place there is a degree of lust and gutter passion involved and if he has a woman then she should be a release for his lust and gutter passion, no matter how raunchy it may seem. It all has to do with trust! This man is sharing his personals with whomever is on the line and then his lady is there he does not have any respect for her. If he does this on the phone while she is right there then what would he do if the opportunity knocked and he was able to meet face to face not just on the phone. By the way he sounds he may even be so bold as to have sex right there in the house.
    Please make her understand that she does not have to sit there and take this treatment girl. She needs to consider :garbage: :garbage: :garbage: as far as he is concerned.
    Oh No Maam!
     
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