Black Relationships : Is moving in together the sign of a serious commitment

panafrica

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Aug 24, 2002
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At one time moving in together was the sign of a serious commitment. In the eyes of many people it was considered to be the last step before marriage (a pre-trial so to speak). However, I’m not sure if this is true any longer. There are a large number of people who live together that have no intention of ever getting married. There are also couples who seem to use moving in together as a agreement to cut cost (sharing rent, utilities, etc). I’ve even seen some folks move in with a boyfriend/girlfriend because they wanted to get out of their parent’s house, and couldn’t afford rent on their own. Knowing all these patterns are happening in society, can moving in together still be seen as a sign of a serious commitment? Let’s discuss!
 
My .02

Sorry to say, but in most cases it's not. We call it shackin' up. I'd say few to none are actually in it for the long run or plan on getting married. When couples shack up, it's usually a financial thing, cuz ain't nothin goin on but the rent, ITO. It may also depend on if the two have a "bargain" worked out. Without a ring, or obvious committment, it is nothing other than a roommate situation with a lil $ex thrown in. To each is own.
 
panafrica said:
At one time moving in together was the sign of a serious commitment. In the eyes of many people it was considered to be the last step before marriage (a pre-trial so to speak). However, I’m not sure if this is true any longer. There are a large number of people who live together that have no intention of ever getting married. There are also couples who seem to use moving in together as a agreement to cut cost (sharing rent, utilities, etc). I’ve even seen some folks move in with a boyfriend/girlfriend because they wanted to get out of their parent’s house, and couldn’t afford rent on their own. Knowing all these patterns are happening in society, can moving in together still be seen as a sign of a serious commitment? Let’s discuss!

I think that most couples see it as being more serious than not doing it but many stay stuck lilke that because the feelings aren't strong enough to move it to the next stage, (marriage).

It's not as much of a big deal if the couple is older and/or plans on not having kids... but if they want kids, they should be married, (in my opinion). Those entering into such an arrangement definitely need to put a cap on how long they will do that without the ring. This is especially the case for women who desire children because, (as has been stated before on various threads here), she just doesn't have too much time to be playing around.

If the couple already has kids and is still living together... they need to evaluate why one party is not wanting to marry.
 
i think it 50/50. i know some just together on the matter of convenience. you know what sad is you can live with that person for some years the instant they marry. within the year there divorced. that is why me and my friend dont live together. abscence make the heart grown fonder and stronger. i just tear him right up when he comes through them doors.
 
The key word in the heading is "serious".

Is moving in together a sign of a SERIOUS relationship.......


Spicy

When couples shack up, it's usually a financial thing, cuz ain't nothin goin on but the rent
I agree.

If two people like being around eachother and are both struggling financially as is the case with most young people, in this society it's almost a given that they might as well move in together to help support eachother.

It's usually a matter of convenience.



PanAfrica

At one time moving in together was the sign of a serious commitment. In the eyes of many people it was considered to be the last step before marriage (a pre-trial so to speak). However, I’m not sure if this is true any longer. There are a large number of people who live together that have no intention of ever getting married. There are also couples who seem to use moving in together as a agreement to cut cost (sharing rent, utilities, etc). I’ve even seen some folks move in with a boyfriend/girlfriend because they wanted to get out of their parent’s house, and couldn’t afford rent on their own. Knowing all these patterns are happening in society, can moving in together still be seen as a sign of a serious commitment? Let’s discuss!
You're right, most of the time it's about young people just trying to be independant.

But that's why I don't like that term "partner" that is being so commonly used to describe couples today.

Not only does it sound sort of gay, but to call someone your "partner" sounds a little to formal as if it's a business transaction where we share our bills and keep eachother company rather than an actual loving relationship.
 

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