Black Relationships : Is love over-rated?

Queenie

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Feb 9, 2001
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In Voice Chat the other night we had a 'hot' debate going on for hours about a variety of topics, among them was the advantages of adopting the African tradition of arranged marriages, and disadvantages of focusing on dating and falling in love before getting married.

In favor of arranged marriages, one person believes it helps to build more productive and longer lasting relationships because the focus is more on things like economics, selective genetics, and strengthening the community, and not on love.

Some disagreed with this because they felt that, in spite of the high divorce rate, it was better to love the person you marry first because two people have to feel that close connection for the marriage to get off to a good start.

Do Blacks spend too much time focusing on casual dating, and falling in love and not enough time thinking about how marrying someone will benefit your family, the community and the future children born of that marriage?

Do you see any advantages to "arranged" marriages for Blacks and any benefits of such a tradition?

Why is loving someone first so important to a marriage--or is it?
 
Love is never over rated
arranged marriages is beautiful but must love to reach this stage
of arrangment , it is a very strong thing when love is from heart
i would say no it helps plan out the marriage but to be more productive i feel to fall in love to know your mate and build that trust and bond is where real productive living as a couple a husband & wife
in order to build and strenghten the community you must first
know how to love to be helpful so again love play a major role
when it come to children love also steps in big because the growth of children is from within the home of the parent/s who bond with love teach love and they feel love to love another
this why love is important to have a happy long marriage it can
be a benefit to blacks who stand for the traditional way to unite
but love will fine a way again it's like unity of bondmentship to any
couple who join handz in marriage
when so many break up, split , Devoice it's all from the lack of love or loving one's mate fully or being devoted even the play of
what one wish to be as what they call a cheat but love is the solo
reason that two be joined together u can't arrange a marriage from looking at a person you have to love them
LOVE WILL NEVER BE CAST AS OVER RATED .....
it the person / mate or lover who take it where they wish it to be
Marriage play out like this
you meet a mate
feelings flair a bond is born
from the feelings come emotions
and love begin where two heart feeling the same
as it's building a trust become to play once
their soulmates can make arranged marriage
but it was love that made it happen
peace.....................
 
When dealing with matters of the heart...
I don't think relationships should be handled
like business deals...I feel that the same initiatives
of family can be achieved with a balance of
love and compatibility....without love is the
relationship "truly" successful...
I think not...there has to be balance...
most importantly..."love"...
(never over-rated but great question)
 
In a marital situation, is what we call "love" nothing more than sexual attraction, respect and admiration?

Why is it that love is necessary for a marriage to "work"? What does love do for the couple that respect and willingness to work together toward a common goal wouldn't?

Why is "loving" rated higher than simply "liking" and respecting a person?

Maybe relationships shouldn't be handled quite the same as a business venture, but when did "love" become a required prelude to marriage or a committed relationship? Was it always this way?

If the "ingredients" for a successful marriage were to total 100%, what would these ingredients be and what percentage would each represent to add up to 100%? Would "love" be #1 and if so, what percentage should love represent in a marriage?
 

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