Black Relationships : Is it wrong not to date someone because he/she has kids?

Is it wrong not to date someone because she or he has kids?

  • yes

    Votes: 13 19.1%
  • no

    Votes: 51 75.0%
  • I donot know

    Votes: 4 5.9%

  • Total voters
    68
Well I think it depends on if you love that person that much to get in a relationship knowing that they have kids. There is alot of babymama/daddy drama out there and I went through a couple of times so I know and some children feel that you are trying to take there mother or father place and don't want you in their life so it's kind of hard getting into a relationship with someone who has kids, but then again it's not.

When you look in the mirror the face you see may not be your own
 
Who Cares!!

bigtown said:
Do you mean single parents are exclusive to the black race. News flash! Caucasian women are increasingly having children out of wedlock, many by choice. It's amazing how often someone comes here and promotes interracial relationships as the answer to all of our social ills. "Black on black violence, hey try interracial dating". " Poverty, hey try interracial dating". It's sickening to me how many black folks are so screwed in the head when it comes to that.

That's my "BIG" opinion.
Obviously noone is understanding my response. To tell you the truth I don't care who you date. Look around you I'm not the poster girl for "when it doubt run from your race!!!!" It seems alot of Black men are doing that on there own. Look around you unless your BLIND. IR couples are EVERYWHERE, especially pertaining to black men. So who's screwed up in the head. My fiance is black and a beautiful dark complexion. PLEASE!!! Also, unless half of you who read my post are either ignorant or blind or even in DENIAL: Culurally we do have more out of wedlock births than other cultures. Yeah, yeah, we know that white people are catching on but we dominate the trend!!!! You also said "they do it by choice." Is that the case with us too becuse if so why is it so hard to get these baby daddys involved, and these baby mammas to stop acting ghetto when they get knocked up and their baby daddy has moved. How do you say : baby mamma/baby daddy drama!!??? It's a stigma for a reason. Where have you been. As far as sterotyping the black race they dont need my help they do that on their own!!!
 
sunny01 said:
I think that this is an excellent topic. Eevryone has different point of views, and it's a personal preference. I personally rather not, and am in a current situation where I happened to fall in love with a man who has a child. It was everything that I said I'd never do as far as getting involved. As a matter fact he's completely opposite of what my dating "requirement" was. However, sometimes the saying of "you never know who you'll fall in love with," rang to be true in my life. This man treats me very well and is a great man. We have an understanding that I'm not going to deal with the baby mamma drama, and he's not going to bring it to our lives. The minute that I even sense the smell of drama, HOLLA!! I refuse to put up with it, and he's know it, and he wants me to be in his life, so he knows where I draw the line. However, every situation is different, and some people can't deal with it. As time progresses, it will be a test for me as well! Being that so many children are born out of wedlock especially in our culture, it becomes increasingly difficult to find someone without children. People make bad or different choices, and it's the way of the world. I think people enjoy having children without committment, and that's just how it is. Bottom line: There are more black women and men with children than without children. If you're having hard times finding that someone who is childless: DATE INTERRACIALLY.

What was there to misunderstand about this post Sunny01? You are stereotyping the black race. Not every single black man & woman has children. There are certainly not so many that the only way someone can find a childless person to date is to go outside the race. That statement was completely bias & bogus! In addition you talked about the black girls at your high school teasing you about your hair & looks. Guess what? That is typical teenage female behavior. White girls tease & make snide remarks about each other all the time: Blonde vs Redhead...Big Chest vs Flat Chest...Thin vs. Fat! What community doesn't have these issues. Lastly the black male is dating inter-racially (so the black woman has no choice but to do the same) argument needs to stop! Black men have only been dating interracially for the past 40 years, they couldn't have done so before then (even if they wanted to). However Black women have been with white men for the past 400 years!! Although the majority of these "relations" were involutary, a significant number were voluntary. This is especially true post-slavery. The 1st officially recognized interracial marriage in the US was between a Black woman and white man (the Lovings of Virginia). Black women aren't dating interracial in response to black men, they are dating interracially because they want to. Indeed they always have, and they never stopped. This lame excuse to "cross the line" needs to stop! That being said the overwhelming majority of black men date & marry black women!
 
So WHAT

I don't care what you think about my post. You believe what you believe and I believe what's TRUE!! I NEVER said that ALL Black people had children. Duh, because I don't!!! I said that alot of them do compared to other cultures, but I guess that's untrue (yeah right)!!The minute we wake up and stop being in denial about our culture is the minute when we change our behaviour and do something positive. I can't reinterate how many times I say I don't care one way or another. It's a persons choice to be a single parent, I've just always said shut and stop complaining about it. That's their life just stop looking so pathetic when you're left and are looking for your baby daddy!! Please stop going to MAURY POVICH!!! LOL!!! I don't care it's not my lifestyle. I made other choices. I'm not Pro Black or Pro White, I'm Pro- ME!!! Have a nice day. And maybe we should focus on other issues that ARE MORE IMPORTANT, than my opinion because I'm not the one making bad decision, or the one who's holding anyone back, I'm pretty sure lot of people can look in the mirror if they want to see their biggest enemy. As long as my bills are paid, I can save $$$, travel and enjoy myself I'm good. These issues DON'T AFFECT ME, and I refuse to let them start because of these so called threads where we talk all day and do nothing. Is this your therapy? If so WOW. :playball:

Oh, and about teenagers teasing one another: I don't think that white teenagers tease one another about SKIN color. Culturally we've had issues with light vs dark for years. My situation and alot of other women of color is not to be viewed as random or general child's play. It's flat out discrimination. However, I'm glad that it happened because now that I know who I am, and how beautiful I am, I realize that there will always be haters. It's actually quite gratifying!
 

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