Black Relationships : Is it worth my patience?

HoneyBrown05

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jul 29, 2004
128
3
Hey every one this post is about a personal situtation of my concerning this relationship that I am in now. I am a very affectionate person and I would love to be around my significant other a little more. He had made clear to me more then once that I am a part of his life but lately he has been avoiding me alot. I find myself calling him and most of the time he isn't there. I understand that he works but it is only part-time. So when he gets home he has enough time to do everything else or go places, and call everyone else but he forgets about me. This past Monday I had invited him to come over so that we can talk because in the past I have was struggling with trusting him because of this very reason. Plus I was getting on his nerves and he had told me that b/c of my "jealousy", he doesn't do or want to do things with me. But now it is 2006 and we can have a fresh start and I just wanted to settle the differences we are having. He never did show up and didn't bother to call me to let me know that he wasn't coming. The next day I had finally got in touch with him and say that he was "grinding" all day. He had went to work came home and then went to his cousin's house. I just want some of his attention I rarely see him. He is always with his cousin, always. I had tried to talk to him about it and he acted like the whole situation wasn't important. He practically ignored me and just hung up the phone. It wasn't like I was cussing and yelling at him it was nothing like that. I was just trying to have a decent conversation. After that I had called right back and his father said that he wasn't at home. Before this had happened we had planned to spend a Saturday together. He had stood me up again and I was calling him that whole weekend. I had come to find out that he had went out of town with his cousin and came back sunday night. That friday night he could have told me but he didn't he could have called me monday but he didn't. His excuse was that he didn't call anybody that day and he wanted to time to himself. You know what I don't even feel like finishing that story.
I don't know what to do or how to feel about the whole thing. I just know that it hurts and it hurts because I care too much and want to make it work. He makes it seem like I am smothering him. So what should I do, am I being over dramatic? Or should I just be patient and wait for when he has time for me or just leave the relationship?
 
honeybrown you need to come to reality ba. the man has lost interest with you. and is all at all cost trying to avoid you. and your so blinded by this hope that he'll return. when a man has his family lying for him you pretty much quess its over between ya. honey why are you trying to play the desperate game give up the lame honey, give up the lame. dont waste your time and energy on someone who cant see your woman worth. your a diamond lady your genuine treat yourself like that genuine. if he keeps avoiding ya, and aint calling ya. as my mamma say BUMP HIM! your too young to continue to be lost girl. its time you do what mariah carey said
SHAKE IT OFF. and that's what you must do. this sat. i would find me an outfit and go out to a decent club and just let loose. just maybe you may see um what his face with the mystery cousin? and the mystery cousin is



ANOTHA WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS A NEW YEAR HONEY DONT FOCUS ON HIS TAIL. HAVE YOU LOOKED OUTSIDE TODAY THERE ARE MANY FINE ELGIBLE BROTHAS WHO WOULD LOVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT SISTA NAMED
HONEYBROWN
NEED I SAY MORE!!!!!
!!!:blowkiss:
 
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

HoneyBrown05 said:
Hey every one this post is about a personal situtation of my concerning this relationship that I am in now. I am a very affectionate person and I would love to be around my significant other a little more. He had made clear to me more then once that I am a part of his life but lately he has been avoiding me alot. I find myself calling him and most of the time he isn't there. I understand that he works but it is only part-time. So when he gets home he has enough time to do everything else or go places, and call everyone else but he forgets about me. This past Monday I had invited him to come over so that we can talk because in the past I have was struggling with trusting him because of this very reason. Plus I was getting on his nerves and he had told me that b/c of my "jealousy", he doesn't do or want to do things with me. But now it is 2006 and we can have a fresh start and I just wanted to settle the differences we are having. He never did show up and didn't bother to call me to let me know that he wasn't coming. The next day I had finally got in touch with him and say that he was "grinding" all day. He had went to work came home and then went to his cousin's house. I just want some of his attention I rarely see him. He is always with his cousin, always. I had tried to talk to him about it and he acted like the whole situation wasn't important. He practically ignored me and just hung up the phone. It wasn't like I was cussing and yelling at him it was nothing like that. I was just trying to have a decent conversation. After that I had called right back and his father said that he wasn't at home. Before this had happened we had planned to spend a Saturday together. He had stood me up again and I was calling him that whole weekend. I had come to find out that he had went out of town with his cousin and came back sunday night. That friday night he could have told me but he didn't he could have called me monday but he didn't. His excuse was that he didn't call anybody that day and he wanted to time to himself. You know what I don't even feel like finishing that story.
I don't know what to do or how to feel about the whole thing. I just know that it hurts and it hurts because I care too much and want to make it work. He makes it seem like I am smothering him. So what should I do, am I being over dramatic? Or should I just be patient and wait for when he has time for me or just leave the relationship?


Ok, let me preface my statements by saying, that I ASSume you put this here because you want honest feedback. Some of this feedback ( from me at least ) will be str8 forward, but necessary for you to hear. So dont take it personal.

1. You sound NEEDY. You are attempting to confuse the need for a lot of affection with being needy. Most guys will pull away from women in that category. You need to work on this. A lot.

2. Not calling you back is just plain rude! Moreover, a part time job doesnt mean he cant call you at least once.

3. You calling him constantly and then essentially bickering over why you then have to call him all the time, is that needy issue. Plus, it's transference. The real issue isnt, does he have someone else, but why wont he give you the attention you want. Arguing about something else ( needy ) shouldnt be done. Stick to the issue

4. By the fact he wont call you OR call you as he promised, means, IT'S OVER!!!! Even if he doesnt have someone else, he's surely thinking about it. Understand that. Back off. Dont call him, at all. If you dont hear from him in a week, that's enough confirmation. Accept! And move on.

I hope I didnt hurt your feelings. Many sisters run guys away. Though I dont think this was the case here. It may have been a contributing factor. Next time, do a better job of choosing a more perfect match for you personality and needs. There is nothing wrong with a woman being a bit more proactive in their search for happiness.
 

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