Black Relationships : Is it worth my patience?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by HoneyBrown05, Jan 5, 2006.

  1. HoneyBrown05

    HoneyBrown05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hey every one this post is about a personal situtation of my concerning this relationship that I am in now. I am a very affectionate person and I would love to be around my significant other a little more. He had made clear to me more then once that I am a part of his life but lately he has been avoiding me alot. I find myself calling him and most of the time he isn't there. I understand that he works but it is only part-time. So when he gets home he has enough time to do everything else or go places, and call everyone else but he forgets about me. This past Monday I had invited him to come over so that we can talk because in the past I have was struggling with trusting him because of this very reason. Plus I was getting on his nerves and he had told me that b/c of my "jealousy", he doesn't do or want to do things with me. But now it is 2006 and we can have a fresh start and I just wanted to settle the differences we are having. He never did show up and didn't bother to call me to let me know that he wasn't coming. The next day I had finally got in touch with him and say that he was "grinding" all day. He had went to work came home and then went to his cousin's house. I just want some of his attention I rarely see him. He is always with his cousin, always. I had tried to talk to him about it and he acted like the whole situation wasn't important. He practically ignored me and just hung up the phone. It wasn't like I was cussing and yelling at him it was nothing like that. I was just trying to have a decent conversation. After that I had called right back and his father said that he wasn't at home. Before this had happened we had planned to spend a Saturday together. He had stood me up again and I was calling him that whole weekend. I had come to find out that he had went out of town with his cousin and came back sunday night. That friday night he could have told me but he didn't he could have called me monday but he didn't. His excuse was that he didn't call anybody that day and he wanted to time to himself. You know what I don't even feel like finishing that story.
    I don't know what to do or how to feel about the whole thing. I just know that it hurts and it hurts because I care too much and want to make it work. He makes it seem like I am smothering him. So what should I do, am I being over dramatic? Or should I just be patient and wait for when he has time for me or just leave the relationship?
     
  2. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    honeybrown you need to come to reality ba. the man has lost interest with you. and is all at all cost trying to avoid you. and your so blinded by this hope that he'll return. when a man has his family lying for him you pretty much quess its over between ya. honey why are you trying to play the desperate game give up the lame honey, give up the lame. dont waste your time and energy on someone who cant see your woman worth. your a diamond lady your genuine treat yourself like that genuine. if he keeps avoiding ya, and aint calling ya. as my mamma say BUMP HIM! your too young to continue to be lost girl. its time you do what mariah carey said
    SHAKE IT OFF. and that's what you must do. this sat. i would find me an outfit and go out to a decent club and just let loose. just maybe you may see um what his face with the mystery cousin? and the mystery cousin is



    ANOTHA WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!
    THIS IS A NEW YEAR HONEY DONT FOCUS ON HIS TAIL. HAVE YOU LOOKED OUTSIDE TODAY THERE ARE MANY FINE ELGIBLE BROTHAS WHO WOULD LOVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT SISTA NAMED
    HONEYBROWN
    NEED I SAY MORE!!!!!
    !!!:blowkiss:
     
  3. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


    Ok, let me preface my statements by saying, that I ASSume you put this here because you want honest feedback. Some of this feedback ( from me at least ) will be str8 forward, but necessary for you to hear. So dont take it personal.

    1. You sound NEEDY. You are attempting to confuse the need for a lot of affection with being needy. Most guys will pull away from women in that category. You need to work on this. A lot.

    2. Not calling you back is just plain rude! Moreover, a part time job doesnt mean he cant call you at least once.

    3. You calling him constantly and then essentially bickering over why you then have to call him all the time, is that needy issue. Plus, it's transference. The real issue isnt, does he have someone else, but why wont he give you the attention you want. Arguing about something else ( needy ) shouldnt be done. Stick to the issue

    4. By the fact he wont call you OR call you as he promised, means, IT'S OVER!!!! Even if he doesnt have someone else, he's surely thinking about it. Understand that. Back off. Dont call him, at all. If you dont hear from him in a week, that's enough confirmation. Accept! And move on.

    I hope I didnt hurt your feelings. Many sisters run guys away. Though I dont think this was the case here. It may have been a contributing factor. Next time, do a better job of choosing a more perfect match for you personality and needs. There is nothing wrong with a woman being a bit more proactive in their search for happiness.
     
  4. HoneyBrown05

    HoneyBrown05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I thank you both for your honesty I know that I can do better! I was just in denial.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    please go out and get yourself a new man.........

    and when you get him, remember, no body pays much attention to the wall paper in the room.
    when you make yourself into wall paper in a man's world he will stop noticing you.
     
  6. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    yOU'RE wELCOME


    The greatest lies ever told are the ones we tell ourselves
     
  7. HoneyBrown05

    HoneyBrown05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Are you saying don't be boring? LOL
     
  8. soblessed

    soblessed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with nevar 100 precent... SHAKE HIS AS* OFF!!!! Why you are over there worrying about him he most likely ain't thinkin' about you. Don't waste your time.YOU CAN DO BETTER SISTA
     
  9. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    **** boo I'm so sorry you are sad.:kiss1:
    Men they're something else.
    If you don't give them enough they worry.
    If you give them too much you're paranoid.
    It hurts when the oneyoulovestops loving you
    You are the one holding on when he's letting go.
    We as woman try to analyze everything.
    When we explain his actions we are so descriptive and we pay attention to detail.
    We know in our minds it's over but our hearts refuse to let go.
    Please baby for your sanity and peace stop calling him! let him call you.No matter if you're alone and horney onasaturdaynight flipping cablechannels and every channel you look at you only see his face, do not call!
    Go out and laugh and have fun even if you're pretending.
    Flirt and take a number.
    Nothing might not come of it,but at least you will not feel like a fool waiting for him to give you the attention you deserve.
    I have recently gotten over someone I was crazy about.
    I was like a helpless child,Crying,worrying,balding up like Ijust drank some spoiled milk.If a man wantsto reach you and be with you he knows how to reachyou!no need to remind him.
    Let go for now and make him miss you:kiss1: :kiss1: :kiss1: I feel your pain,really I do!
     
  10. HoneyBrown05

    HoneyBrown05 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What a burden on me!

    Update: I'm single finally, he continually ignored me so I had broke it off with him last wednesday. What had hurted me the most out of all of this was after I had told him that it was over he said, " Good, holla at cha boy!" He had left me thinking " what is that suppose to mean?" Oh well there are too many guys out here for me to be stuck on one foolish little boy. :dance:
     
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