Black Relationships : Is it to much drama

I respectfully disagree with you sexe1 ...

IMHO ... children do matter. They are a part of the equation, and they should not be taken likely or ignored. Believe me, they will have a bigger role in the relationship than you think. The healthiness of the relationship is determined by ALL that's involved...ALL...including the children.
 
Zero - I hear what you are saying but I think that people, many times, miss the things that are meant for them because of superficial hangups. If the shoe were on my foot I wouldn't want someone to have to think twice about dating me just because I had kids. There is so much more to me and to what I would offer as a lover than to just let someone define me on the issue of my children. So I respectfully have to stand my ground on this one :)
 
Cool ...

sexe1, in your brief one liner it wasn't clear to me what you were saying, but now that you elaborated a little more I understand more of your perspective, of which I do indeed respect. I just couldn't imagine entering a relationship with someone that has children where the children wouldn't matter :) ... I stand corrected...I hear what you're saying.
 
Think about this

sexe1, I understand where you're coming from and ideally that's the way things should be. But in reality, IMHO, children do matter in love relationships.

First of all, it's critical that the one without the children had better like children and have a sense of responsibility and awareness of how to be a good parent because they will become a part of their lives.

Second, the children should like and respect you because if they don't, that spells trouble that can strain a relationship.

Third, the couple needs to have that conversation about the children and establish some ground rules. Can the non-parent chastise the children, can they be left alone with the children?

People should always be very, very careful about introducing new people in their children's lives. Particularly mothers with daughters. I just think that when children are involved, there's more to it than just the two adults who are attracted to each other. As much as we might like to think that they aren't, children play a key role in who we get involved with.

From my point of view, it's never superficial to think twice, delay or decide not to get involved with someone if the children can't cope with a new relationship for a parent. It could be the difference between harmony and chaos in the home.
 

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