Black Relationships : Is he hiding something?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by wholegrain, May 19, 2011.

  1. wholegrain

    wholegrain Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Hello Brothers and Sisters,

    Need some advice or opinions!


    I have been working at this job for about four months-graveyard, well I started showing interest in one of my co workers (graveyard)..and he seemed to have no objections. It started with texting, then to him asking for x rated pictures, to him eventually coming over once a week and us having sexual relations. What I need help with is this: he has never invited me to his home, he always comes over on one of the nights that I am off (we get two nights a week off, and i have tuesday and wednesday off- so i see him on tuesday night or wednesday night-and he works on those nights) and on those nights he always shows up in his work clothes but never went or goes to work, he always calls off on the night he sees me BUT-its like he gets dressed for work and comes over to my house. Sometimes he comes over for a couple of hours, or he may spend the night making sure to not spend the entire day but leaving in the am before 9. We talk about some things, I know he has children, and that he is what he says "focused" (not really knowing what exactly that means, I take it as focused on life, etc) so to ME its not just sex because I feel that he shares a lil bit of him but all in all I am starting to get feelings for him. He calls me babe, baby, etc and that makes me feel ecstatic. But is he hiding something???? What do you guys and gals think??
     
  2. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

    Country:
    Japan
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    8,757
    Likes Received:
    5,870
    Occupation:
    independent thoughtist thinker, context linker
    Location:
    theory to application to discussion to percussion
    Ratings:
    +6,043
    go to jail.. do not pass go.. do not collect $200.00

    translation.. you are out of order.. you did it wrong.. and it is irreparable..
    just start over.. and this time.. develop the feelings and learn who he is before
    you open your home and your legs and your heart.. okay? okay.

    hey.. and when Kemestry gets here call me..


    -Peace..
     
  3. wholegrain

    wholegrain Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    I had to chuckle at the beginning of your response and also say WOW at your response.
     
  4. wholegrain

    wholegrain Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Nonetheless, thank you for your response. I've read some of Kemestry's posts, so I am awaiting him as well.
     
  5. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

    Country:
    Japan
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    8,757
    Likes Received:
    5,870
    Occupation:
    independent thoughtist thinker, context linker
    Location:
    theory to application to discussion to percussion
    Ratings:
    +6,043
    what you mean.. nonetheless?.. .that was sound advice.. I just ran out of
    sugar to coat it with.. look.. when the yoke is broke, it's broke.. you want an
    unbroken yoke? get a new egg and handle it with greater care. You can't put
    the genie back in the bottle. But I have alternate advice also: Stop trying to
    make a sexual relationship into more than what it is..
    You are a booty call..
    and so is he.. as long as you are both cool with that, then do your thing.. but
    you can't try and rationalize it into something deeper than that.. well, you can..
    but you'll be lying to yourself. I can't ice skate in my basketball shoes.. or play
    basketball in my ice skates.. won't work.. If what you want is something more,
    you have to establish that from jump. If I was him, based on what I have
    heard, I wouldn't be thinking too seriously about our relationship.. that's what
    Focused means.. it means that you are inconsequential in his life.. that he has
    his plans.. and his circumstances and he doesn't intend to change his
    trajectory based on anything you say or do... short of getting pregnant that
    is.. but I'm sure his focus probably demands 1 or 2 condoms.. real talk..
    don't be mad at me for telling you straight either..

    Peace.​
     
  6. wholegrain

    wholegrain Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Thank you for that. Not mad at all...just wrapping my brain around it. Now the thing that I am thinking about is how he does come over and why I have never been to his home, hoping I am not helping his cheat on a gf is my concern now...
     
  7. theman9361

    theman9361 Active Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 19, 2011
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    13
    Ratings:
    +13
    Your guy is living with another girl, pure and simple! 4 months is a long time! I understand not bringing every woman around his children but still...
     
  8. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,428
    Likes Received:
    2,620
    Occupation:
    professional.
    Location:
    UK..not for long
    Ratings:
    +2,622
    please the man has a Wife!..lol..
     
  9. wholegrain

    wholegrain Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0

    He's informed me that his children live with their mother in about three cities away from us.
     
  10. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2001
    Messages:
    34,790
    Likes Received:
    8,984
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    betwixt and between
    Ratings:
    +9,684
    WholeGrain ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

    We are in the midst of some major changes, which include openly discussing sexual stuff between adults, you can read more about it here.

    I invite you to Become a Premium Member so you can take part in these type of discussions and more.

    I'll leave this thread here for a few, but it will be moved within the next few hours.

    Again ... thanks for joining us and please make yourself at home, because you are.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
Loading...