Black People : Is having a baby for every woman?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by rapunzal24, Sep 14, 2011.

  1. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have had this discussion numerous times with many friends, and my mother. I don't think I want children. I want a mate, but I do not want children. Some say that it is unnatural, others say it is because I am young, my father says that if I find the right man, I will change my mind...I don't know. My mother never really wanted children, but she felt like that was something that women just did back in the day. Nevertheless, she loved us unconditionally. That being said, I like my life, waking up when I get ready to, eating out or eating in, and not having to drag any kids with me when I get ready to go out. It just seems so unappealing. When I see these children in the store with their mothers....ughhh, it just seems so uneccessary. I think babies are beautiful, and they smell sooo good, (most of the time) and when they smile it is just beautiful. Then they get older and start to talk and....that's where my fantasy ends. Has any other woman felt this way, and if so, how did it work out for you? Did you have them anyway, or did you not have them and regret it. Did you decide that it is not something you wanted and are just fine with it. Let me know, I am really stuck on this right now.
     
  2. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If I didn't have my daughter, I wouldn't have kids either. So I will say no, babies or kids are not for everyone. If you do find a man you'll want to find one who doesn't want them either or who has older kids.

    Don't let anyone tell you that you NEED to have kids. Personally, I don't think a lot of people even deserve to have kids, but they are still out there having them.

    But let me tell you this, babies are cute yes, but they have their pros and cons just like older kids. My daughter was a joy as a baby, even though she is getting older, 8 now, she talks more and she is coming to her own and watching her transition through life is beautiful in itself. Now am I looking forward to her teenage years going through PMS and the whole nine? NO!!! But I will love her all the same.

    But I have made the decision that I do not want any more kids....Everyone keeps saying, you'll find the right man and change your mind...NO, I'm done...my daughter has siblings on her dad's side, he did that job for me. I'm not into the motherly thing that much.
    My mom always told me that that just was never my character.

    But anyways, I'm rambling...Do what's right for you ms lady!
     
  3. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    "I'm not into the motherly thing that much..."

    Sadly, if our ancestors said this we all would not be here enjoying what we do.

    Some women welcome the struggle and joy knowing they are strong and can make it through and what the beauty and merit is in doing so.

    Society glamourizes not having any responsibility, birth control poisons and just being free.

    I think civilization has a right over us. Just as in an ecosystem everything is connected and we all have significant roles.

    If a man and woman sincerely and maturely desire to love one another unconditionally that will remedy all pains and ills of the experience.

    [btw i never said have a bunch of babies by this one and that one, and expect welfare to take care of you, that is this countries system of control and manipulation]
     
  4. Feather

    Feather Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i am referring to women who are sane, healthy, and capable in a nature intended relationship of doing so, just in case this question arises.

    i hope no one takes my response personally, I am not condemning anyone...:cool:
     
  5. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel you, I use to feel this way too, but as time has passed, (and this has happened recently), I don't know if I want this responsibility. The world is crazy, I don't know if I want to bring a child into this mess. Also, it may sound selfish, but I like doing me at all times. There are enough children in the world, if I don't procreate I don't think that this will be the end of humanity. Children are a BIG responsibility, I don't know if I want that.
     
  6. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Anyways rapunzal....

    Like I said....Don't let no one tell you that you have to have babies...If they want babies let them have the babies...

    All this bold and coloring of fonts don't prove points...it just makes them sound pushy for their own personal cause...
     
  7. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have women in my family who do not have kids and they are successful and happy with their life...It was their decision not to have kids. You'll make the right decision in whatever you do, cause I know you're an intelligent woman.
     
  8. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I see that you put I'm not into the motherly thing in quotes, but what if that is the truth, what if you don't feel it deep down, do you force yourself to do it anyway?
     
  9. rapunzal24

    rapunzal24 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have never had the motherly thing going on, people tell me all the time that I talk to little kids like adults, and I think....how am I suppose to talk to them? Apparently there is something that I am missing, I enjoy holding the baby, but you can have it back in like 5 minutes because my arms are getting tired. And the thought of pushing them through my vajay-jay......not appealing at all!!!!
     
  10. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol I know right! My daughter was the first baby I had ever held. I still don't hold babies even now. I work with kids, but I don't have to take them home with me. I always talked to my daughter like regular person...I didn't goo-goo-gah-gah her or anything.
     
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