Black Relationships : Is financial stability from your mate important?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by nevar, Aug 9, 2008.

?

How many would date a man that mismanage his money?

Poll closed Sep 7, 2008.
  1. Never

    60.0%
  2. Yes, I will date him no matter what his financial matters are.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Maybe, if I can change him.

    20.0%
  4. Girl, you are dreaming!!

    60.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Say you meet a man of your dreams. Would do just about anything to please you. He has his plus and then his minus. Accepts your lifestyles and your children. Just like I said he is all what you need. But one thing that bothers you is that you find out he isn't good with money. It isn't all the time but when something major like rent, or anything due he comes short. Would you leave that one because of their financial situation.? I welcome any feedback on this. :dance3::dance3:
     
  2. Zulile

    Zulile Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Responded to your Blog, nevar :)
     
  3. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There are alot of people, in general, that are financially illiterate. If he is willing to learn then teach him how to better manage his money. Ask him to get his priorities in order. His rent is very important because he needs a roof over his head. He should only be coming up short on money for entertainment not rent!!! You can make those small scarifices for going to the movies or something similar to that. But I would stick with him. The brother just may need a little push thats all.
     
  4. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks for that advice.........:grouphug:
     
  5. Jahari Kavi

    Jahari Kavi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    oh lord..."financial stability", lol. The reason I laugh is, because I hear this phrase from females I know very often. There is no problem with being financially stable, but I find that some females place too much interest on being rich.....................and that's it. One female friend of mine always places "financial stability," (which really means a man who can support her if she didn't want to work, lol) before anything else.

    exactly
     
  6. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I have to agree. There is nothing a man or woman can buy that will do any good if he doesn't have anywhere to put it. How long will people be impressed by his BMW once they find out that's where he lives?

    This is something that can be learned if that is what he wants to do. I used to could go in a store and in the first ten minutes have thirty dollars worth of stuff in my basket and still not have what I came to get. Now when I go to the store a make a list and if it's not on my list I don't buy it. Then after I pick up the last thing on my list I head straight for the cash register looking neither to the left nor to the right.

    You can support this man without getting into a relationship with him. Folks will agree with you up and down to your face just to shut you up and get you off their back but until he shows that he really is committed to managing his money expect that the way he is is the way he will always be and the complaints you have now are the ones you will have five or ten years from now.
     
  7. phynxofkemet

    phynxofkemet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Responsibility

    I don't think that having a sense of financial responsibility and accountability is the same thing as equating good sense with unlimited wealth. A person who is not willing or able to balance a check book is a pain in the ***. Money is a neat acronym for My Own Natural Energy Yield, and if he's spending his so fast that he can't make rent or pay bills that he's going to want some of yours. And this treating men like children (he may need a little push) gets old real fast. Money Power and Relationship issues form the sacred (Sacral) chakra, and allowing someone to "borrow" your energy isn't beneficial to them, your relationship or you. We are talking about grown people here right?

    Now here's where being real honest about things helps a lot. If the man or womban has other attributes that you desire and you are willing to support them, then be up front about it - make it an equal and fair exchange. I'm not talking prostitution I'm talking about recognizing that people bring to us different things that we may exchange fairly. Maybe you just want some company on a Friday night, or a good companion to work out with... his budget is tight so you buy the popcorn and the movie, and pay for the gym pass. Everybody's happy. If however this person has moved all up into your home and you are carrying the load, you gotta realize that resentment is going to kick in sooner or later and when it does watch out! Unless this brother is cleaning your house, fixing watz broke, cooking for the kids and you, I would really think about whether you're relationship is a fair exchange or one of an energy imbalance.

     
  8. Bootzey

    Bootzey Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Me personally, I recognize that everyone has their short comings. But since I am not wonderful in the financial arena, (my bills get paid on time but that's all I can do) I don't need to have a mate that has the same issues. Because we can't build from there. And I don't see the point in it.
     
  9. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    When I said that he needed a little push what I meant was that the man needed support and guidance. I never said to come out of pocket for him. I believe in tough love. He is a grown a** man and needs to learn that its his life and no one should have to pick up the slack for his mistakes. Your right she isnt his mother and shouldnt be babying him. I didnt know that some women would actually pay their man's rent for him? Wow!! Their dating, not married.
     
  10. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wow i appreciate everyone advice on this.......thanks for the input.....
     
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