Black Women : Is Being Bitter Always Bad?

spicybrown

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Oct 21, 2005
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Hello Sistas:spinn: . I've been reading through a couple of t*t for tat threads, and I had a question: "Is Being Bitter Always Bad?"

I'm pretty sure this not-so-honorary title has been given to many of us by the men in our present/past...... who were actually the ones to bestow harsh treatment upon us.....thus making us "bitter". In the free-spirited days of 06' is it even safe to let our guards down just to keep from being seen in this negative light? Or are we better off staying "bullet-proof" divas? Care to share any insight, or testimonies? Why is it when we have one remote issue, we suddenly go from 'sweetheart' to 'bitter biznitch?' I believe in balance, but dagnabbit............let's not get bitter here..LOL. Let's discuss:?:
 
Any kind of prolonged, unconstructive anger is bad on the body, mind, and spirit. However, if anger is constructive, it's a good thing because it is based on a premise of empowerment---i.e. actually DOING something about what's making you angry (obviously presuming that the issue is one of injustice or evil of some sort). I will say that that label, especially when stuck to Black/African women, is often used to control us by making us feel down or wrong for feeling pissed about things or issues that we have every human right to be. Instead of taking that anger and doing something about it (constructive), we either bury it and FEIGN "forgiveness in the name of God" or we unconstructively hold on to it......both of which contribute to depression and/or premature deaths. So, I say to ALL African women.....don't allow ANYONE to steal your voice...if you have a grievance, then by all means.....grieve....but do so that your own dignity and self-esteem (not ego) is preserved....peace (and a little kick *** too!) :)
 
Being bitter is not so bad!!!! I went to counseling a few years after my divorce, I didn't feel like I was handling it well. I was very bitter and angry. My therapist told me that it was okay to be bitter and angry. That it was not distructive, and whatever it takes to get you through the hurt and pain without inflicting in another is okay. I refused to have any communication with my ex-spouse and I dealt with him strictly through his mother and mine. This helped me greatly and I am now able to openly communicate with my ex, and share in the rearing of our son. Everything does not work for everybody, but, each individual person need to find out what works for them.
 

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