Black Women : Is Being Bitter Always Bad?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by spicybrown, Feb 11, 2006.

  1. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hello Sistas:spinn: . I've been reading through a couple of t*t for tat threads, and I had a question: "Is Being Bitter Always Bad?"

    I'm pretty sure this not-so-honorary title has been given to many of us by the men in our present/past...... who were actually the ones to bestow harsh treatment upon us.....thus making us "bitter". In the free-spirited days of 06' is it even safe to let our guards down just to keep from being seen in this negative light? Or are we better off staying "bullet-proof" divas? Care to share any insight, or testimonies? Why is it when we have one remote issue, we suddenly go from 'sweetheart' to 'bitter biznitch?' I believe in balance, but dagnabbit............let's not get bitter here..LOL. Let's discuss:?:
     
  2. Blaklioness

    Blaklioness Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Any kind of prolonged, unconstructive anger is bad on the body, mind, and spirit. However, if anger is constructive, it's a good thing because it is based on a premise of empowerment---i.e. actually DOING something about what's making you angry (obviously presuming that the issue is one of injustice or evil of some sort). I will say that that label, especially when stuck to Black/African women, is often used to control us by making us feel down or wrong for feeling pissed about things or issues that we have every human right to be. Instead of taking that anger and doing something about it (constructive), we either bury it and FEIGN "forgiveness in the name of God" or we unconstructively hold on to it......both of which contribute to depression and/or premature deaths. So, I say to ALL African women.....don't allow ANYONE to steal your voice...if you have a grievance, then by all means.....grieve....but do so that your own dignity and self-esteem (not ego) is preserved....peace (and a little kick *** too!) :)
     
  3. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    True indeed.
     
  4. mchinadoll

    mchinadoll Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Being bitter is not so bad!!!! I went to counseling a few years after my divorce, I didn't feel like I was handling it well. I was very bitter and angry. My therapist told me that it was okay to be bitter and angry. That it was not distructive, and whatever it takes to get you through the hurt and pain without inflicting in another is okay. I refused to have any communication with my ex-spouse and I dealt with him strictly through his mother and mine. This helped me greatly and I am now able to openly communicate with my ex, and share in the rearing of our son. Everything does not work for everybody, but, each individual person need to find out what works for them.
     
  5. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    I think the statement should be, being PERPETUALLY bitter.

    No one is all one emotion, all the time. If a person is walking around bitter day in and day out, then something is clearly wrong with them.

    PEACE
     
  6. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Bitterness usually comes from a betrayal in some way. It is natural to feel bitter but it's not good to hold on to it. Bitterness after a long period of time consumes us. We will stay enveloped in a cloud of negative energy.


    Peace......
     
  7. Sweet baby_face

    Sweet baby_face Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That's true,Radical.
    I think that there is a difference from being bitter and being strong.
    I think that you can be strong and approachable to someone without being bitter. It's all about not letting yr emotions get the best of you.
     
  8. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Honestly, we are being called bitter by good men!
    I am guilty of it, lord knows I've been through so much and it has hardened me. I am really trying to forgive and forget this pain in my heart.
    It's an emotional handicap.
    When we have had trash treat us badly we sometimes don't let go.
    When that real brother comes along we carry emotional baggage and we don't allow them to love us because we are afraid it will happen again.
    If he really likes you he will understand and be patient if you talk to him and tell him why.But sometimes it's too late. Don't let a soulmate pass you by because of your past!
    Live,love and let go.
    If it doesn't work out at least you know you will live to love again!:heart: :heart:
     
  9. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    What you have said here, makes you one of the most beautiful Black women in the world.

    PEACE
     
  10. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you Sam,
    :heart: :heart:
     
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