Poetry Critiques : INTIMACY

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by 1SensualBrotha, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. 1SensualBrotha

    1SensualBrotha Member MEMBER

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    I can feel your hands,
    Your lips and hips,
    As our bodies move in unison.
    I can hear your moans,
    Your silent, seductive whispers,
    As I whisper in your ear.
    Your hands are so small and soft,
    As they caress my arched back,
    My bald head, and my hips.
    The feel of your body against mine
    Is rhythmic, warm…
    It is heaven.
    The scent of your sensuality
    Is orgasmic.
    It is sweetness to the third power.
    I can feel the chocolate rain
    From your honey shower.
    In the throes of passion,
    I lift you up,
    To meet my firm and powerful thrusts,
    And I can see,
    That you have given me all your sexual trust.
    The curvature of your hips
    Rest against my strong hands,
    And I feel your labia begin to totally expand.
    I suckle on your soft and beautiful breasts,
    Your neck and your ear lobes,
    Left and right.
    Your body starts to tense up,
    And I feel you getting dry and tight.
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I love how u put this down and it reads smoothly keep stroking it this way
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The sensual images painted here were quite vivid. The pace of the piece flowed right along with that sensuality, great write poet.
     
  4. Jaisolovely

    Jaisolovely Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Umm hmm

    Why did you stop that visual is so beautiful!
     
  5. TreasureEyes

    TreasureEyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    OH MY LAWD !! Where the air go up in here.

    This piece definitely depicts its sensual pieces illuminating be to very compelling and convincing.

    Truly a nice flow - keep it flowin!
    :qqb023:
     
  6. abstract219

    abstract219 ...standing on the shoulders of giants MEMBER

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    WOW..
    REALLY A SENSUAL WORK...VERY DESCRIPTIVE...

    FEEL SAD ABOUT THE "DRY AND TIGHT" LINE AT THE END..BUT ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO A END.....WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO SEE COMPLETION AND ORGASMS THERE..

    BUT A GREAT WRITE REGARDLESS....
     
  7. HSF Moe

    HSF Moe Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

    beat it up till ain't no juice left in it! LOL! excellent piece, bruh!

    good combination of love speak and real talk!! you got the "shower"! we all know what dat means!
     
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