Black Poetry : Internal Battle

[Defiantson]

Internal Battle

Being hurt in the past
Not wanting to be hurt again
Yet longing for the desire
To be loved like a cosmic force

Pushing she away
Like some strange fruit
Not because she is not worthy
Because she haunts my existence

Making me feel like
A flower in a garden
That has been nurtured
Beauty comes from her

Still my heart
At a frenzy
How she devours
My inner being

Breaking down walls
That have been built
To keep me save
Saddened

Often feeling lonely
Tormented by selfish ways
I conjured up my strength
To make sense of my situation

Letting her rule my heart
Would cause weakness
To my guarded emotions
Keeping her away falls into place

This vortex of uncontrollable desire
Wanting her in ways
Only imaginable in fantasies
Where Tantra and the Karma Sutra meet

Taking control of inner-self
I the sorcerer of my strength
Has to depress those feelings
My mental over-took emotions

She having no chance
To intervene in my destine
Gets pushed away once more
Her feelings I regret to hurt

I am sorry
Not wanting to hurt you
I have to let you go
This pain is too great

Loving me is hard
Especially since
I don't know
What love feels like

Again I am sorry
Wanting to hurt you
Was not the plan
This safeguard over takes me

Sanity over love
My heart yearns
Yet my mind
Keeps pushing away

 

[IfUComeSoftly]

my mind keeps pushing you away
yet my heart yearns for the touch
the taste, the fell of yours
i'm a rationale woman therefore
rationality wins where the heart fails
therefore i'm giving you up...
therefore i fight my last fight
with the point of my pen...

manny...

i know admitting it
especially outside the realm
of pen and paper will never
gain me the emotional freedom
i need to love you but hopefully
writing it here will help me heal
therefore help me love
how dificult life can be when
we attempt to minimize the truth
my truth is that i love
my truth is that i'm trying
not to love you...
unsuccesfully
one day i'll look at you
and you'll see the love in
my eyes like i see in yours
one day you'll look at me
and the hurt in your eyes
won't force me to turn away
because you think you know
that you're in that place alone
one day you're lovemaking
won't pull at the strings of my core
because i won't feel the need
to sew my feelings away from you
one day i won't question whether
or not when you walk of that door
will it be the last time and think
are you leaving me?
one day i'll let my mind fully realize
you are that wonderful man i call you
in my heart and in my dreams
one day i'll wake up and you won't be there
but before that day comes
i'm going to leave this letter outside
the realm of pen and paper
i'm going to leave it open
in a place that i know you'll see it
and read it and know that
you are not in this place alone
and you'll know that all you need to do
to change it is to reassure me
give me the final affirmation of love...
and i'll give myself the freedom to love

 

[Tantrum]

This vortex of uncontrollable desire
Wanting her in ways
Only imaginable in fantasies
Where Tantra and the Karma Sutra meet
^^^
my fav part

this was a hot piece poet much love

 

[Defiantson]

thank you both for your dope comments. I appriciate the love.

 

[$$RICH$$]

This was pure and awesome verse by verse poet