Black Poetry : inside my head

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Randee, Sep 9, 2003.

  1. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    can't write, can't write, can't write
    the feelings are too fresh
    and everything in the past
    seems trivial compared to now
    can't write, can't write, can't write
    and so instead these f*cked up thoughts
    float around inside my head
    threatening to disconnect major wires
    can't write, can't write, can't write
    i still don't know how I feel
    as I lie awake at night
    rubbing my empty stomach
    crying into my pillow alone
    can't write, can't write, can't write
    wondering who it is I am even mourning
    i have lost so much and
    gained so little from each experience
    i hate not taking something with me
    but I hate making nothing something
    can't write, can't write, can't write
    refuse to propagate drama
    when there is enough going on in my life
    to consider adding more to the spice
    i wish i knew what i was crying for
    can't write, can't write, can't write
    i am so frustrated at myself
    for being in this place, for being unable to write
    for not understanding and feeling disgraced
    for being left alone, cold, empty
    for being stupid, young, dumb
    for wanting this baby
    for dreaming about my old life
    and how none of this would be going on
    if i let him take me down whenever he felt he needed to
    for not leaving him sooner and becoming a mother to his own child
    for allowing him to manipulate me still with her
    for not being a b*tch who can walk out on my prefrabricated family
    like so many men walk out and start over
    she is not mine and they remind me every day
    and I know but for five years I was hers and she was my responsibility
    never did i ask for anything
    and look at what I have been given
    i took a chance and let him in and now
    i have nothing
    an empty space next to me in bed
    and an empty womb
    just wrote, just wrote, just wrote
     
  2. Jazz4u

    Jazz4u Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    whoa,,,this is deep...enjoyed the scribe...much respect j.
     
  3. true love

    true love Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    dayum girl...i feel this so much and my heart goes out to you. it will get better...when i can't tell you, but it will. please keep your head up. thank you for opening your heart.
     
  4. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i feel ya girl...
    this is deep...
     
  5. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Always there for me you two. Thanks for the words, for not writing, came out quick at the end, understand much edits needed, but once the pain goes, maybe.
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    deeply felt i hear ya speaking still
     
  7. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Randee........sometimes our words are many things

    in this case...........it sounds like a progressive healing

    so let it flow girl.............as our spirit moves, soars, changes

    so does our flow........it will get better, until then

    I feel you!
     
  8. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is raw, but beautiful. You are gifted, Randee.
     
  9. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Randee...
    your emotion is so deeply felt that i wanna hop to where u R and play super girl and spin time back so that u neva had to hurt...but alas all i can do is stay here and listen and pray for your souls strength.
     
  10. Randee

    Randee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you for all your words and prayers. Healing through the pen again.
     
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